RateTheRef

Having left behind a dry Reading, it was a surprise to find steady rain at Slough. Luckily, it was only a short walk to the Moon and Spoon, where the choice was a (disappointingly bland) haggis, with neeps and tatties, in the company of an Auld Acquaintance. When the time came to leave, the rain was pelting down, making for an unpleasant walk to Arbour Park for

Friday 23rd January 2026
Combined Counties League Division 1
Langley 2   v   2   Oxhey Jets
Bailey Wood; Paul Bennett, Harry Sweales

Again, it was necessary to head to the far end turnstile to gain admission, but at this point the rain relented. A cup of tea in the clubhouse cost a mere £1.30, and the programme was free!

In the early stages Langley defenders had plenty of possession, but JCFC decided that the visitors looked the more likely side. It will come as no surprise to those familiar with these musings, therefore, that on 8 minutes a Langley attacker won the chase for a long ball and lifted the ball over the advancing keeper into the net. The Oxhey keeper had to make a save just three minutes later to prevent Langley from doubling their lead. On 24 minutes, though, the Jets' number 7 timed his run perfectly to run clear of some statuesque defenders, leaving only the keeper to beat. As he was rounding him, the keeper made a grab for his ankle, the attacker half stumbled but stayed on his feet and was rewarded by being able to roll the ball into the net for the equaliser. A save by the home keeper on the half hour produced an instant release leading within seconds to a save at the other end. The best moment of the rest of the half was a smart turn by the Oxhey number 8, but the resulting shot was fired straight at the keeper, who blocked it to safety.

Each side introduced a substitute at the break. The incoming Oxhey man waited politely and patiently by the tunnel for the officials to appear. The referee marched straight past, the assistants trotted off to check the nets before AR1 made his way back to authorise the substation. Only at this point did the Langley man wander off the pitch to be allowed on.

A splendid long shot gave Langley the lead just after the hour and the Oxhey keeper was called into action again almost immediately, but Oxhey again soon drew level. They had the upper hand for most of the remaining time, but Langley threatened occasionally. There was plenty of endeavour, lots of tussles, but the match was played in a good spirit.

Mr Wood had quite bushy hair on top and was spared the cowpat look as his short back and sides was regrowing sufficiently, with further growth on his chin. There was one booking - for a late holding offence by Lanley's elder statesman - but little else to trouble him in a peaceful game. His movement was satisfactory, but little more, leading JCFC to feel, doubtless incorrectly, that here was someone happy doing his job well where he is, rather than pushing to attract attention with a view to promotion, though his handling of the match suggested that he could handle matches at a higher level quite comfortably.

The weather for the walk back to the station was dry,  unfortunately JCFC was still not. Sadly, this time Langley omitted to open the bottom gate, adding an extra couple of minutes to the walk, with arrival at the station coinciding with the departure of a Westbound train. The next one was only going as far as Maidenhead, but JCFC boarded it in the hope that it would be warmer there. It wasn't, and the subsequent wait of sixteen minutes was not pleasant, but back at the hotel, the kettle was on by 22.54.

Whistleblower,to us locals in West Yorkshire,Frank Cowen seemed to go on for ever!He was quite slight and didn't seem to change much in those 19 years at all.He was invariably very steady and reliable and what happened that evening at Rotherham was a mystery.
Some more esoteric knowledge-in his later years on the list,I think he moved to Saddleworth-then in Yorkshire.He thus became available for West Riding Cup matches,which, for lower division clubs was treated more seriously than today[if it still exists].

Like Boris10, I always found Frank Coweb a reliable referee. As stated, he was eventually based in the Saddleworth area. There was a feature on him in the insert that used to appear in match programmes (Football League Review, was it?) with the heading proclaiming "Oh, what a good referee," or words to that effect.

Thanks for that excellent answer. I believe only one player was involved, though I always accept that I could be mistaken, so it seems likely to have been a minor case of oversight.

Even the Bilston fans did not complain - or even notice.

As hinted after the last round, the West Midlands was again the destination for

Episode 12
Saturday 17th January 2026
FA Vase 4th Round
Bilston Town   1   v   0   Gresley Rovers
Michael Pattison (Worcestershire); Richard Booth, Joshua East.
4thers: Matthew Perry.

Having booked accommodation for two nights in Wolverhampton (Who needs the Caribbean, whistleblower?) I had a lazy morning before the short tram ride to Bilston Central, followed by a simple walk to the ground. Gaining access was marginally less simple. The card reader had to be warmed up, by which time it decided it had to install an upgrade. While waiting, it was necessary to move aside to allow the arrival of a white car. There followed an inquiry by the gateman, who received the reply that the driver was an official. "League Official?", was the query, receiving the hesitant but misleading answer. " Yes." The next question was his name, with the response being "Joshua East." The gateman, fortunately an amiable chap, could not find his name on his list and it took JCFC, who had done his homework, to point out that Mr East was AR2, at which point he was promptly waved through. By now the gadget was ready to accept payment and JCFC'S hand a received a pink smiley face that would allow him into the clubhouse the for a cup of tea - or more accurately allow him out again. Inside, the officials were seated in the company of a CORE official, who at a casual glance did not qite live up to the high level of elegance associatd with such people further North.

The match officials gained copious Brownie points, all wearing their (different) County badges, and all decently attired in long sleeves. Mr Booth, however, went on to lose half of his at the interval by removing his underwear - well, the upper part thereof - to revert to short sleeves. Mr Pattison's short back and sides was indeed very short, but sufficiently trim on top to avoid any resemblance to the Suchecki cowpat of yore.

The start of the match was delayed for a couple of minutes, the Gresley keeper being concerned that the net was not fully attached to the crossbar. Help came, in the form of tape carried by a small gentleman with little hope of reaching the crossbar. Fortunately, the keeper was a strapping fellow and effected the necessary repairs himself.

The players showed plenty of good intentions, but with not much in the way of an end product, though the play was never dull. Bilston were the first to come close, though the Gresley keeper made rather a meal of touching away a 13th minute shot that was well directed, but lacked power. A very late challenge by the industrious home number 7 rightly brought him a yellow card, though the Bilston faithful were inclined to disagree. Bilston did the bulk of he attacking, but Gresley at times looked dangerous on the counter, though their first close effort did not come until the 33rd minute, a long range free-kick being touched onto the roof of the net. In the final minute of the half, the home keeper got a crucial touch to a cross, to divert the ball away from two lurking Gresley attackers.

The early stages of the second half saw a crunching collision between the two number 8s, Gresley's going to ground and requiring treatment. Mr Pattison must have seen something not apparent from the stand, as the Bilston man received a yellow card, though he looked to be more sinned against than sinning. Home fans did not comprehend why the injured player was not required to leave the field. Their indignation increased minutes later when a similar coming together led to their player having to head to the touchline after treatment, Mr Pattison having rightly decided that no card had been required this time. A tremendous clearance by the Bilston keeper set up a great chance for his number 11, but this time it was the turn of the Gresley goalie to scramble the ball out for a corner. The visiting number 2 was summoned for a word following a bit of chirruping. There was a rather untidy delay just after the hour when play was stopped with a visiting player down in his penalty area, just as Gresley were breaking clear in the Bilston half. Mr Pattison came and chatted to the home number 2 with nobody quite sure what was going on. The ball followed him to halfway, but then had to be returned to the Gresley keeper for a free-kick. Thoughts were beginning to turn to penalties, but on 75 minutes Bilston's pressure finally told and they took the lead. At this point JCFC must seek the help of more learned members. As Bilston celebrated, the Gresley physio came on and treated one of their players, who was not, however, required to leave the field.Was this because no time was wasted, or the referee was otherwise engaged or one exception specified in the laws/protocols? Be that as it may, Bilston netted again three minutes later with a header from a corner, but their celebrations were cut short as Mr Booth raised his flag and after consultation the goal was cancelled. The Bilston faithful were vehement in their cries of "You can't be offside from a corner," overlooking the possibility than another attacker was offside from the header and interfering with the keeper's view. Bilston players, though, accepted the decision calmly enough. There was a yellow card late on for the Gresley number 5, and on 90 minutes Gresley lifted a great chance to equaliser over the crossbar from six yards. The board was raised showing five minutes of added time and Bilston were keen to waste as much as possible. Their skipper came to the edge of the field, needing attention for a neck injury, at which point the keeper fell to the ground. Mr Pattison ran to him, called for the physio, who however continued to attend to the skipper. This completed, keeper Lazarus rose and play resumed. The Gresley boss was angry when a free kick was awarded for a silly foul by one of his attackers and Mr Pattison ran over with a yellow card. The added time was rightly extended and in the 97th minute Gresley almost snatched an equaliser, a powerful shot coming back off the bar. For the second time this season, JCFC had seen Gresley lose a Vase match.

Bilston claimed they had been the better side, Gresley that they had had enough chances to win. JCFC agreed with both statements. The game, for all its limitations, had provided a good afternoon's entertainment.

As for the officials they had performed well. Mr Pattison showed excellent movement in a quiet way. His vocal input was not audible from the side, but there appeared to be plenty of it, combined with several smiles. It was perhaps not a faultless performance, but nevertheless a very good one indeed.

Inspired by being addressed as "Young 'un" on the way out, JCFC made light work of the walk back up to the town centre. Sustenance was sought from Sir Henry Newbolt, where there was no suggestion of a "breathless hush" as he tucked into a Tennessee burger, accompanied by a pint of Elderflower from Purple Moose. It is not yet known who Bilston will play in the last sixteen ( for the first time in the last 33 years) nor whether the captain's hand will be smiting any shoulders, but hopefully they will again "Play up! Play up! and play the game."

Having already booked train and hotel, I was hoping that Mr Appointments Man would not disappoint me by sending a referee seen before. Thankfully, only one of the 16 falls into that category and he is at distant Barnstaple, so JCFC is happy. Now, can Monsieur Météo please be equally obliging?

My original choices would have been the matches at Golcar or Penistone, but these were unsurprisingly among the earliest to be called off. With others sure to follow, the safe option was taken - warm bus to Bradford Interchange, which although fully enclosed was decidedly chilly, then 662 to Aireborough Road, followed by a short walk to the Marley Sports Complex for

Saturday 3rd January 2026
NWCFL Division 1 North
Steeton 2 v 2 Squires Gate
OC Admission £3, Programme £2.
Matthew Clarke; Craig Littler, Jack Leaver.

The Marley ground is not the most enticing of venues, but Steeton, unable to develop their home ground in the village, are making the best of it. The welcome was friendly, the gateman's card reader was not functioning, but he would have been prepared to let me in to pay elsewhere, and was solicitous when I turned to cash instead. The food "special" of chicken curry with rice and naan was tempting, but being a traditionalist the pie, peas and gravy was selected.

The programme broke the NW Counties omerta on providing advance details of officials - at least in part, the referee being listed as tbc. When he appeared, I thought I recognised him, his sturdy build having been seen once at Golcar, some years previously. I even remembered the surname Clarke, but not his forename. More exciting, from a personal point of view, was reading the name of AR2, who is the son of someone I first met over thirty years ago (and greatly admired) but have not met for two decades. Jack looked a little older than his 22ish years, but much younger than Mr Littler. Unfortunately the officials warmed up on the opposite side of the pitch, so there was no chance to grab a word with Mr Leaver to ask him to pass on my regards to his Dad.If by some chance he gets pointed in this direction, perhaps he could still do so.

The first third of the match was short on quality, players failing to come to terms with the slightly exaggerated bounce, meaning that the ball spent much of the time in the air. What quality there was came from the visitors, but their finishing was lacking. They finally won a penalty on 37 minutes, this time the target was successfully located. It looked as if they could have had another penalty shortly before the break, when the home keeper raced wide with a clumsy challenge from behind, but Mr Clarke waved it away. Home fans, admittedly further from the action than Mr Clarke, maintained that it looked more of a penalty than the first one.This probably accounts for the throng, notably a silver-haired individual, gesturing dramatically, surrounding the officials at the half time whistle.

The second half produced rather more excitement, with the visitors again looking the livelier ... until the 59th minute when a Steeton attack brought an equaliser with a spectacular finish. The home side went ahead on 75 minutes, hitting the post from close range, but putting the rebound in at the second attempt. Squires Gate came back strongly, but shot weakly, though they eventually grabbed a deserved equaliser.

Mr Clarke is perhaps not the greatest of sprinters, but was usually pretty adjacent to the action. Apart from the controversy at the end of the first half, he had little to test him in a cardless match.

Fortunately my eight layers had provided sufficient protection from the cold. The journey home went smoothly, and by 18.50 I was tucking into a welcome bowl of hot home-made soup.

Well done to all who contributed answers.