RateTheRef

It was up two levels for

Saturday 27th October 2018
3. Liga
SV Wehen-Wiesbaden   0   v   0   FSV Zwickau
Eric Müller (Bremen); Lukas Benen, Simon Rott.

Wehen was originally a club from a small township in the Taunus, but rose through the ranks. In 2007 their ground was unsuitable for a short-lived promotion to the Zweite Bundesliga, so they moved to a new stadium in the nearby city of Wiesbaden, amending their name accordingly. Despite creating a new (rather pedestrian) anthem, the crowds -on this occasion 1830 - leave most of the stadium unoccupied. Zwickau, meanwhile - a town in many areas as grey as the team's shirts - have been upwardly mobile. The town is known for being the birthplace of Robert Schumann ... and the Trabant.

Herr Müller was promoted to the 3.Liga list in 2016 as part of a job lot of three unrelated Müllers, one of whom has this year been promoted to the Zweite Bundesliga list. Referees on the third and second division lists act as assistants on the league above as well as refereeing in divisions below, so they normally receive just eight games per season at their official level, nine if they are lucky. This was Herr Müller's third of the season - and oddly his second at Wiesbaden.

The officials were in long-sleeved yellow shirts, Herr Müller pushing his above the elbow, but retaining the black trim. He is quite tall, fair-haired and broad-shouldered and was to have a straightforward first period: a warning for a tug, a correct yellow for a late slide and a quiet word for something said when a team-mate was penalised - all to Zwickau players. Even so, the home captain, from his viewpoint as goalkeeper, wanted a word at the break.

Wehen came close soon after the restart, courtesy of a deflection which looped over the keeper, but safely out for a corner. It was apparent that Zwickau were content with what they had and their foul count increased, with three more yellows along the way. On 86 minutes one of the fouls was in the penalty area. There was jubilation in the home camp, but to a neutral it was no surprise when it was saved. Herr Müller had done a decent job of chivvying players along, but might possibly have added a couple more minutes at the end.

Herr Müller's sprinting is effective rather than elegant -he has to wind himself up to get going - but he was always on the spot, with use of reverse gear to adjust position. His lateral movement, by no means a given in Germany, was particularly impressive. His decisions appeared accurate and his general demeanour less detached than in many of his peers, in a way that pleased JCFC, but may not be what his lords and masters are expecting.

Two steps down again this afternoon!

PS: Two further things added to JCFC's confusion about regulations.
The first was when a trainer was warming up 6 subs in the corner.
The second when a player from each side collided in the goal area and were both required to leave the pitch after treatment.
I shall have to do some swotting!

Yellow was again the officials' colour scheme at

Disgraceful conduct from all concerned...

Well, the die is cast! It remains very cold, with a biting wind, but a morning visit to C & A saw JCFC equipped with woolly gloves and an extra sweater. Wuppertal it shall be. After all, it is hard to resist the chance to see a referee named after an item of footwear. A figure to rank alongside tennis player Jack Sock, Slipper of the Yard, Evelyn Waugh's wonderful creation William Boot (or Jesse of that ilk for our Nottinghamshire friends) fifties man-about-town Algernon Winkle-Picker and exotic dancer Mandy Cornplaster. OK, the last two might be products of JCFC's fevered imagination - that's what comes of spending too long in freezing football grounds.

The officials took to the field in yellow, and with black cuffs and collar looked very smart - sorry bmb!

Naughty step for you... The only thing yellow looks is vile!

Bmb must have been on the phone as the officials returned in black.

You know it

A late-running train meant a missed connection in Treuchtlingen, leading to the discovery of a memorial  stone. On the 23 February 1945, as part of Operation Clarion, Treuchtlingen was one of the railway junctions to suffer a heavy American bombing raid. As the raiders' approach was  discovered the top priority was to move a munitions train into the safety of a nearby tunnel. People who could not make it to a bunker took refuge in the station underpass, where a direct hit resulted in the loss of some 300 lives.

The day's destination was Eichsttät, a small town with an important ecclesiastical history and a present-day Catholic University, leading to the sight of a man of a certain age experiencing the difficulty of climbing over the seats in the stand while wearing a cassock. It has a handsome centre and would make a good stop for a stroll and a coffee - provided that you bore in mind the lugubrious PA announcer's claim that the local traffic wardens are always glad to treat visitors to a parking ticket - of the penalty variety.

And so, not before time, to the game

Saturday 24th November 2018
Regionalliga Bayern
VfB Eichstätt   0   v   3   FV Illertissen
Patrick Hanslbauer (Zirndorf); Philipp Eckerlein, Christoph Stühler.

The home side has made is way up through the league and a great point was made of the fact that they currently top the league - dizzy heights indeed. With Illertissen in the lower half of the table, a home win seemed assured.

AR2 was a hand-changer, AR1 was not..Eichstätt forced a good save from the keeper on 10 minutes, but it was the visitors who took the lead direct from a free-kick on 17 minutes and put another chance just wide shortly afterwards.A couple of visiting players were spoken to - number 29 for two fouls, number 23 for childishly delaying a throw. Midway through the half an Eichstätt player took a free-kick, aiming at an opponent who had not retreated far enough. Herr Hanslbauer  was luckily able to indicate a rolling ball. On 27 minutes he called an excellent advantage, returning to caution the Illertissen number 18 for the very late challenge. Two minutes later the home keeper came out to collect a high ball, but an attacker beat him to it to double the lead. They came close to a third, hitting the post, before their number 30 was cautioned for a stray arm. Eichstätt did manage a late chance, but had looked poor in the first half.

They emerged for the second half with the air of a side on the receiving end of a hair-dryer, and their number 4 was cautioned for a high foot. In attacking, however, they left gaping holes at the back and Illertissen's third came all too easily. In a repeat of the first caution, it was the home number 33 who saw yellow after advantage had been played. The visiting keeper had one decent save to make, but the home side's efforts subsided. Three further yellows were shown, one to the visitors,two to Eichstätt..The teams have a match this coming weekend, but  then the Winter pause means that they then have to wait until March.

For me, Herr Hanslbauer - another operating below his pay grade, having been promoted to the 3rd Division for this season - put in an impressive afternoon's work, receiving not only handshakes but several pats on the back from the losing side. His triage had been very accurate, with sensibly restrained use of the whistle and open body-language. His movement was good and he used his reverse gear to good effect. It would be nice to think that at 28 he might move higher still - but that is probably the kiss of death.7 yellows is possibly quit e a lot by English standards, but here represented a referee doing his job accurately and well... and "you ain't seen nothing yet!" ...

"... and "you ain't seen nothing yet!" ..."
Here we are dangling, waiting for the next episode.

Sorry to leave you in that precarious position, Microscopist, though when you say "we", ah hae ma doots. Be that as it may, you may well find, to adapt the old adage, that it is better to dangle hopefully than to be let down with a bump.

When a new stadium was opened in Mainz a few years ago, the old ground was not sold for development and is still used by the Under-23 side, which is where I went for

Sunday 25th November 2018
Regionalliga Südwest
1. FSV Mainz 05 ll   2   v   2   TSG Balingen
Dennis Meinhardt (Flieden); Patrick Werner, Jeffrey Euchler

The officials did not look particularly prepossessing as they warmed up, but once into their blue tops with long sleeves and black cuffs the assistants appeared very smart - and their subsequent performance, complete with slick hand-switching, was pretty impressive, particularly in the case of AR1 - though some 20 hours had passed before I twigged that I had seen him referee in the Hessenliga as recently as May. The referee's short sleeves did nothing to offset a slightly insipid facial appearance, which made him look a decade older than he actually is.

The match began with a number of unnecessarily long and loud blasts, and though Herr Meinhardt did manage to introduce a few crotchets and quavers, the semi-breve remained the default note, with occasional blow-until-you-can't-breves - sometimes appropriately. Unfortunately we did not have much chance to view his man-management skills, the first notable foul, in the 12th minute, being a definite yellow card offence, accepted as such by the offender, the visiting number 2. A deliberate trip with no attempt to play the ball saw the home number 20 follow him onto the crime sheet on the quarter hour. He did speak to the home number 17 for trying to delay a free-kick. It was not proving a quality match, being low on skill and high on both clumsy challenges and petulant reactions. Balingen had a distinct territorial advantage, but it was Mainz who came close midway through the half, a shot from a corner being cleared off the line by the defender on the far post. The Balingen number 3 was the next to see yellow, "legging-up" the opponent who had got away from him. On 27 minutes the Mainz number 17 ignored his earlier warning and blocked the taking of a free-kick, Balingen number 30 reacting with a barge. Herr Meinhardt issued cards number four and five, but not in a constructive way - more cooling chat as well would have been better. The Mainz coach was not a happy fellow by this point and AR1 had to go and calm him. Eventually Balingen played the free-kick forward and took the lead. The only other effort of note in the half was an overhead kick by Balingen that went just wide.

Mainz equalised early in the second half, then yellow number six went to their number 15. There was a great chance for the Balingen number 7, but he put his shot wide. A spat between the home number 16 and the Balingen number 18 was quickly nipped in the bud by AR1 and this time no cards were flashed. Just after the hour a Balingen player lay in the penalty area as a Mainz attack was cleared, AR1 raised a flag, thought about taking it down, but kept it up - proving a distraction to me as the ball was in the Mainz half by now as the whistle was blown. The next minute was curious as Herr Meinhardt jogged gently back to see to the injured player, ignoring his assistant, ultimately taking out a yellow card and walking back to the Mainz half, where it was shown to the home number 20 - to his apparent surprise - so the seventh yellow card was followed by a red. Balingen forced a good save from the Mainz goalkeeper, Mainz number 16 put a good chance wide, Balingen hit the post and yellow number 8 went to the Mainz number 33. The Mainz left-back was injured and had to be helped off the field, temporarily leaving his side with nine men. This was the cue for a Balingen foghorn of a certain age to set up a chant of "TSG" - strangled in infancy as Mainz ran clear within seconds to take the lead. EVEN a miserable old blighter like me was moved to laugh out loud. Strangely none of the Balingen contingent seemed to find things quite so amusing. Two yellows were flashed a minute later, the Mainz 16 tuging at a shirt, the Balingen number 6 responding with his elbow to the stomach. The Mainz keeper made a couple of good saves. On 84 minutes it was the turn of an infant to instigate a chant of "FSV" with similar unwanted results as Balingen headed an equaliser from a corner. Yellow number eleven went to the Mainz number 14 before Mainz were wide with a great chance in what turned out to be the last kick of the match. Balingen players gave the usual handshakes to the officials, Mainz headed straight down the tunnel.

Normally one would expect a match with 11 yellows and 1 red to have provided the sort of entertainment afforded by gladiators of old, but this was just an annoyingly petty affair. Herr Meinhardt had little real hope of imposing discipline on recalcitrant players, but though the yellow cards were justified, the manner of their delivery did little to help matters.

And so to Saarbrücken for the night (and a delicious ragout of goose leg in wine with noodles.) The plan was to attend the Regionalliga match on Monday evening - or night, with a 20.15 kick-off - but with rain threatened, another decent meal in prospect and the match live on TV, nobody with any sense would make the trip.

Friday produced a series of wrong decisions. Looking for another line to highlight on my dilapidated rail map, (how sad is that?) I planned to make the trip to Erben. Wiki et al suggested that there was plenty of interest for the visitor, so I decided to wait and see the sights. Arriving just before noon, I was greeted by the tolling of a deep bell, echoed initially by its cheeky young grandson from across the town. The youngster gave up at twelve, but grandad had greater stamina and continued. On reaching the centre it became clear that it had been tolling to mourn the fact that the town had died and gone to heaven. The sights proved few and were quickly seen, so a cafe would have been welcome, but the place was shut, except for an ice cream parlour. As the only thing coming to me from out of the skies was steady drizzle, Eberny Eis did not appeal (if yesterday's effort saw me heading for the naughty step, that will surely lead Whistleblower to cast me into some oubliette) so it was back to the station to wait 45 minutes for the next train. All of which did not do much for my mood and did not augur well for the officials at

Friday 8th March 2019
Bayernliga Nord
SC Eltersdorf   1   v   1   FSV Erlangen Bruck
Andreas Dinger (Biscofsgrün); Jan Dirrigl, Michael Bäumel.

Pouring rain on the walk from station to ground did not improve matters, but the clubhouse saved the day with Schnitzel, chips and salad. The decent programme was free. This was very much a local derby and drew a respectable (for the fifth tier) crowd of 350. Herr Dinger is approaching oldie status, being 30, the two assistants (both accomplished hand switchers) being 20 and 21. All three looked immaculate in their primrose shirts with black collar and cuffs.

The first quarter was spent almost wholly in the Bruck half - so much so that the home keeper was often mooching around on the edge of the centre circle - but it was not until midway through the half that Eltersdorf took the lead. There followed a couple of yellow cards for the visitors. Eltersdorf continued to create and miss chances, and were fortunate that a clear break by the visitors seconds before the interval came to nothing.

Bruck offered rather more in the second half, equalising on the hour when they lifted the ball over the keeper. The game became very stop-start, with the home team picking up two yellows this time. Bruck came close to a winner on 88 minutes, the home keeper diving full length to touch the ball away. As added time began a clash produced a minor flurry, quickly stopped by Herr Dinger, who consulted his assistant before showing yellow to a player from each side.

For much of the game Herr Dinger's movement was not greatly tested, but when it was, he was not found wanting. One throw in the first half saw neither referee nor assistant keen to make the decision, but otherwise his triage was very good. He did whistle unduly long and hard for some mundane offences, but Germans seem to like that. His carding technique involved flashing the card at a player some distance away, but again, that seems to be the custom. He did maintain good control and used his smile well to maintain pleasant relations with the players.

The match having begun at a civilised 19.00, I was back in Bamberg before 22.00.