"... and "you ain't seen nothing yet!" ..."
Here we are dangling, waiting for the next episode.
Sorry to leave you in that precarious position, Microscopist, though when you say "we", ah hae ma doots. Be that as it may, you may well find, to adapt the old adage, that it is better to dangle hopefully than to be let down with a bump.
When a new stadium was opened in Mainz a few years ago, the old ground was not sold for development and is still used by the Under-23 side, which is where I went for
Sunday 25th November 2018
Regionalliga Südwest
1. FSV Mainz 05 ll 2 v 2 TSG Balingen
Dennis Meinhardt (Flieden); Patrick Werner, Jeffrey Euchler
The officials did not look particularly prepossessing as they warmed up, but once into their blue tops with long sleeves and black cuffs the assistants appeared very smart - and their subsequent performance, complete with slick hand-switching, was pretty impressive, particularly in the case of AR1 - though some 20 hours had passed before I twigged that I had seen him referee in the Hessenliga as recently as May. The referee's short sleeves did nothing to offset a slightly insipid facial appearance, which made him look a decade older than he actually is.
The match began with a number of unnecessarily long and loud blasts, and though Herr Meinhardt did manage to introduce a few crotchets and quavers, the semi-breve remained the default note, with occasional blow-until-you-can't-breves - sometimes appropriately. Unfortunately we did not have much chance to view his man-management skills, the first notable foul, in the 12th minute, being a definite yellow card offence, accepted as such by the offender, the visiting number 2. A deliberate trip with no attempt to play the ball saw the home number 20 follow him onto the crime sheet on the quarter hour. He did speak to the home number 17 for trying to delay a free-kick. It was not proving a quality match, being low on skill and high on both clumsy challenges and petulant reactions. Balingen had a distinct territorial advantage, but it was Mainz who came close midway through the half, a shot from a corner being cleared off the line by the defender on the far post. The Balingen number 3 was the next to see yellow, "legging-up" the opponent who had got away from him. On 27 minutes the Mainz number 17 ignored his earlier warning and blocked the taking of a free-kick, Balingen number 30 reacting with a barge. Herr Meinhardt issued cards number four and five, but not in a constructive way - more cooling chat as well would have been better. The Mainz coach was not a happy fellow by this point and AR1 had to go and calm him. Eventually Balingen played the free-kick forward and took the lead. The only other effort of note in the half was an overhead kick by Balingen that went just wide.
Mainz equalised early in the second half, then yellow number six went to their number 15. There was a great chance for the Balingen number 7, but he put his shot wide. A spat between the home number 16 and the Balingen number 18 was quickly nipped in the bud by AR1 and this time no cards were flashed. Just after the hour a Balingen player lay in the penalty area as a Mainz attack was cleared, AR1 raised a flag, thought about taking it down, but kept it up - proving a distraction to me as the ball was in the Mainz half by now as the whistle was blown. The next minute was curious as Herr Meinhardt jogged gently back to see to the injured player, ignoring his assistant, ultimately taking out a yellow card and walking back to the Mainz half, where it was shown to the home number 20 - to his apparent surprise - so the seventh yellow card was followed by a red. Balingen forced a good save from the Mainz goalkeeper, Mainz number 16 put a good chance wide, Balingen hit the post and yellow number 8 went to the Mainz number 33. The Mainz left-back was injured and had to be helped off the field, temporarily leaving his side with nine men. This was the cue for a Balingen foghorn of a certain age to set up a chant of "TSG" - strangled in infancy as Mainz ran clear within seconds to take the lead. EVEN a miserable old blighter like me was moved to laugh out loud. Strangely none of the Balingen contingent seemed to find things quite so amusing. Two yellows were flashed a minute later, the Mainz 16 tuging at a shirt, the Balingen number 6 responding with his elbow to the stomach. The Mainz keeper made a couple of good saves. On 84 minutes it was the turn of an infant to instigate a chant of "FSV" with similar unwanted results as Balingen headed an equaliser from a corner. Yellow number eleven went to the Mainz number 14 before Mainz were wide with a great chance in what turned out to be the last kick of the match. Balingen players gave the usual handshakes to the officials, Mainz headed straight down the tunnel.
Normally one would expect a match with 11 yellows and 1 red to have provided the sort of entertainment afforded by gladiators of old, but this was just an annoyingly petty affair. Herr Meinhardt had little real hope of imposing discipline on recalcitrant players, but though the yellow cards were justified, the manner of their delivery did little to help matters.
And so to Saarbrücken for the night (and a delicious ragout of goose leg in wine with noodles.) The plan was to attend the Regionalliga match on Monday evening - or night, with a 20.15 kick-off - but with rain threatened, another decent meal in prospect and the match live on TV, nobody with any sense would make the trip.