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With a favourite referee in charge at Brighouse, it was a wrench to set off early for

Episode 3
Saturday 24th September 2022
FA Vase 2nd Round Qualifying
Gedling Miners Welfare   1   v   1   Belper United
Alexander Cotterill (Nottinghamshire); Liam Vayro?, ?

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The gentleman who sold me a raffle ticket at the gate had no programmes, claiming that they were online. Sure enough, there was the programme - for last Tuesday's match, so the mystery of the missing assistant was not solved.
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If only you'd had the programme !!

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Gedling Miners Welfare F.C. (First Team) v Belper United (First Team)
F.A. Challenge Vase   
Referee: Cotterill, Alexander
Assistant Referee: Kiely, Paul
Assistant Referee: Vayro, Liam

A different Case of the missing assistant was being played out when JCFC arrived at

Episode 4
Sunday 25th September 2022
FA Vase 2nd Round Qualifying
Albion Sports   3   v   4   Whickham
James Gallagher (W. Riding FA); Dwayne Chappell, Wait and see...

Having had the misfortune to be landed with a second Albion knockout match of the season (he did their Extra Preliminary Round FA Cup replay in August,) he now found himself one assistant short, the (unknown) listed Dene Stockton not being in attendance. Phone calls were made, Farsley interrupted their warm-up, more phone calls and eventually a replacement had been secured  and was on his way, the kick-off time being put back to 15.15. Sure enough, at 14.50 in galloped the cavalry, or at least the familiar figure of Elliot Shiers, and perhaps more of a canter. In August JCFC had been critical of Mr Gallagher's lack of urgency, but on this occasion he could not be faulted and, indeed, deserves credit for rescuing the situation.

In the very first minute, an Albion forward robbed a defender and raced goalwards, with an excellent scoring chance, but seemed to elect to pass and the chance went begging. Two minutes later, in another Albion attack the shooting opportunity appeared to have passed, but the ball was slotted home from a narrow angle to put the home side ahead. Albion showed their customary "uninhibited" approach to tackling and it was not long before Whickham decided that the role of shrinking violets was not for them. On 17 minutes a clumsy challenge led to a little silly pushing and a general assembly to discuss the price of fish, with both assistants taking closer order, ending with a yellow card for the Albion number 10. On 35 minutes, there appeared to be a chance for a repeat of the first goal, but this time the ball found its way to the other side of the goal area, and was struck home from there like a mirror image.

Whickham had the snell wind behind them in the second half and immediately had a couple of good chances, but nothing to show for their efforts but a yellow card for their number 7. On 57 minutes, however, they were correctly awarded a penalty and made it 2-1. Mr Shiers was alert to the possibility of a tussle for the ball and Mr Gallagher, too, got involved. The two had a brief consultation and the Whickham number 9 received a yellow card. The Whickham twitter spotted the same for the Albion keeper at this point, but JCFC missed it, Mr Gallagher's carding technique being rather perfunctory, Premier League style, blink and you miss it. Another visitor was cautioned just after the hour, followed three minutes later by a yellow for Albion. The home side's third goal on 66 minutes was a belter - rapid passing, a nifty lay-back and a superb shot into the top corner. Whickham responded with a nice goal on 74 minutes, adding an all-too-easy one just a minute later. Towards the end there was a yellow card to someone for something - presumably an Albion player.  As added time was starting, a Whickham corner led to a scramble in the goalmouth, a half clearance and the ball finding its way into the net. Several seconds later, Mr Shiers was seen standing on the pitch with raised flag; Mr Gallagher went and had a brief consultation, but the goal stood, with no further action taken. There was time for an Albion defender to receive a yellow card, followed three minutes later by one for the visiting number 9 - his second, so followed by a red. At the final whistle there was a threat of a further scuffle as Albion players headed for the officials - apparently not entirely full of goodwill - and Whickham tried to pull them away, but they quickly dispersed, leaving the Albion coach to show his lack of sportsmanship with an extended moan at the officials. Perhaps JCFC is doing him an injustice and he was singing their praises, but somehow that looked unlikely.

Curiously, or maybe not to those who know Albion Sports, the pattern of the match followed that of Mr Gallagher's earlier game there, with cards accumulating, ending with a late dismissal for a visitor. Mr Gallagher started brightly, moving in bouncy fashion and "pattering" well. His bonhomie could only last so long, however, and, though he retained a calm demeanour, it became something of a struggle, as so many referees have found there. A tricky match negotiated more or less successfully.

The rail strike having rendered his ticket for the FA Cup tie at Clitheroe unusable, JCFC settled for the short bus ride to

Saturday 1st October 2022
Nation League
Halifax Town   0   v   4   Woking
Scott Simpson (Staffordshire); Ashley Royston, Matthew Bacon. 4thers Tom Wall.

It may be that JCFC has simply been unaware of officials from further South, but Mr Simpson has appeared to have made rapid progress through the ranks in the last few seasons. The assistants were well-known S&H officials, though from the back of the stand, the bright sun made it impossible to be certain which was which, while the 4th official was someone whose name had never registered at all.

A Halifax attacker was briefly free in the first 30 seconds - quickly gobbled up - and Woking took control. They missed a chance on 6 minutes, lifting the ball over the bar from 3 yards. Two minutes later, Woking lifted a free kick into the box; AR2 correctly withheld his flag for a player in an offside position, allowing a man to run from deeper; his effort was parried away, leaving a comfortable finish for the striker. The home left back was having a torrid time, his winger putting dangerous crosses into the area. One such on 17 minutes led to a scrambled block by the keeper, with a rebound off a defender  for an own goal. On 34 minutes, Halifax did manage a shot. Was it on target? Only if the target in question was the third advertising board to the right of the goal. Halifax came close to another o.g. a minute later, but they did end the half with a decent shot which skimmed the Woking crossbar. There were loud boos as the players left the field - and they were not aimed at Mr Simpson.

Halifax came to life - briefly - after the restart. A good cross from the right corner cleared the central attacker; his colleague waited for it to arrive, hoping to volley it into the net, but a retreating defender managed to nip in and put it out for a corner. Things continued uneventfully until the 75th minute when Woking added their third, with little opposition from the home defence. The crowd thinned considerably at this point, and even more so shortly afterwards, when the keeper could only parry a shot, leaving a simple tap-in. As in the first half, Halifax had a good shot as the game entered added time, but it rebounded off the post. Further boos came at the final whistle.

It was not an afternoon to test Mr Simpson's abilities, but he did the job pretty well. His whistling is brief, but imperious, and there was little for players to complain about. On a couple of occasions he made "Sieg heil" gestures when awarding a free-kick. JCFC could not see a card, but wondered if this had been another case of perfunctory carding technique, but decided not, as neither the referee, either assistant nor 4thers appeared to write anything down. JCFC was wrong, of course, as the NLP indicated that two Halifax players had been cautioned.

Any lower league club looking for an interesting tie when the FA Cup draw is made tomorrow could do worse than hope to be drawn against Halifax, though whether many of the Shaymen's supporters would be in attendance is open to question.

This Saturday's rail strike was circumvented by a two night stay in Lancashire, allowing JCFC to enjoy

Saturday 8th October 2022
FA Trophy 3rd Round Qualifying
Clitheroe   2   v   2   Marske United
Zharir Mustafa (Cheshire FA); Abdul Hakimy, Alexander Phillips.

In the opening minutes, it looked as if the higher-ranking visitors were going to dominate, but Clitheroe soon worked their way into the game. A slip by the Marske defence left the home number 9 free to run at the keeper, but he touched the ball too wide and though he retained possession for several seconds, the visiting defence was able to regroup. Marske picked up a yellow card on 42 minutes for stopping an attack that did actually look promising, while before the break Clitheroe hit the post with a great long shot. Half time therefore arrived with JCFC's Golden Goal ticket still alive.

But not for long as Clitheroe went ahead on 51 minutes. A home player was next to see the yellow card just a minute later, while Marske added another to their collection on the hour. They equalised on 63 minutes with a great long shot angled into the far corner. Within a minute, they claimed a penalty as an attacker went down in the box, rejected by Mr Mustafa, who added a third yellow card for Marske during the ensuing period of treatment for the player down, dissent being the obvious conclusion. The Clitheroe keeper made a splendid reflex save as Clitheroe came under pressure, but on 72 minutes a handball offence gave Marske a penalty. Clitheroe's routine protests were half-hearted; not so the penalty kick that put Marske ahead. What looked like a little punch to the stomach in a tussle earned a fourth Marske player a sight of the yellow card. On 83 minutes Marske thought they had settled the tie, but Mr Phillips flagged for offside, Clitheroe took the kick quickly, raced to the other end and equalised. There was a late clearance off the line by a home defender, but no further goals.

The penalty shoot-out was much shorter than the 20-kick one at Gedling recently. Marske scored their first three, Clitheroe missed their first and third, so when the visiting keeper struck home Marske's fourth, it was all over and Clitheroe were out of an FA competition for the second time in four days.

The officials had good games, with the speed of Mr Phillips's side-skipping down the line being something to behold. Mr Mustafa had a decent line in patter. He was willing to work wide - on a couple of occasions the play forced him even wider, resulting in determined crossfield charges when play was switched. His triage seemed good and there were few complaints from the fans or the players. A job well done.

It was a strange evening at

Wednesday 12th October 2022
NCEFL Premier
Albion Sports   2   v   0   North Ferriby
Charles Mulhall (S&H FA); Declan O'Regan, Giorgio Luongo.

As expected, the top of the table visitors had much the better of the early exchanges. They created numerous close-range chances, but failed to make appropriate contact with high balls into the goalmouth, though they did on occasion make inappropriate contact with the home keeper. Albion did mount a couple of threatening attacks, but the Ferriby keeper was only called upon to come out of his area to clear through balls. JCFC's only note was a query as to the helpfulness of the vague instruction at a throw-in "Go back a few" but Mr Mulhall was close enough to see that the required distance was reached.

Albion looked altogether more dangerous after half-time. A break on their right ended with the keeper bringing down an attacker. The penalty was awarded, only for the kick to strike the post. On the hour two players went for the same ball. Unsurprisingly, JCFC read it wrong, seeing it as a pretty horrendous foul by the Albion player, the sort which would normally lead to a mass scuffle and a red card. The reactions on the field, though, were muted and the free-kick went to Albion, though the Albion player , who had quietly sloped off from the scene during attention to his opponent was called back for a short word. Albion went ahead on 64 minutes, with a strong shot from outside the area. There was a yellow card soon afterwards, the Ferriby number 7 having taken a reckless thwack at an opponent who had just dispossessed him (legally?) There was a brilliant reflex save by the Albion keeper, before his side added their second on 82 minutes.

So, it was hard to know what to make of Mr Mulhall. He achieved the seemingly impossible at the start, getting everybody out and ready for a prompt kick-off. It was a pretty peaceable game, which suggests that he must have been doing plenty right (though that has not always helped referees at Albion's matches) and there was not even much comment from the bosses. Mr Bell's coaching must have served him well. That said, there did not appear to be anything out of the ordinary in his work - solid, but not spectacular. Most officials would probably feel happy at that - and at Albion, positively elated!

The odd evening continued: major roadworks ruled out the usual bus stop, JCFC walked to Stanningley Bottom, where the screen showed a bus due in four minutes. It is uncertain whether it was the earlier one running 19 minutes late, or the next one 9 minutes early. An unexpected connection at Bradford Interchange was a further pleasant surprise, so much so that JCFC lost track of where we were and flew past the stop, leaving an extra few minutes walk back through the town centre - an unusual end to an unusual evening.

The red card for the Brighouse defender in the above match has been rescinded.

Engineering works meant that Thameslink services were not able to cross London, while no trains were running on the Caterham line, so JCFC had to ignore Leggy's recent advice and venture onto the East Grinstead line. The initial walk from hotel to station had been accompanied by steady rain, but by the time the train arrived, a patch of blue had appeared and the sun peeped through. It was too good to last, of course, and the Dutchman soon lost his trousers. Victoria's bloomers were a dingy grey, but dry - just as well, as the Underground spewed JCFC forth at an unfamiliar spot, from where a wrong turn resulted in quite a walk. By the time the train reached Selhurst, there was enough blue sky to preserve the modesty of a whole regiment of Dutchmen  - though Dutchmen are usually less concerned with such things. Shortly after alighting at Upper Warlingham, JCFC was overtaken by a young man in the familiar referees' track suit. JCFC retook the lead when the young man stopped to check his phone, but was quickly outpaced on the way to

Episode 6
Sunday 23rd October 2022
FA Vase 1st Round
Whyteleafe  7   v   1   Snodland Town
Colman O'Meara (NW London): Sikiru Idris (Thanks RefWatcher!), James. Grimley.

AR1 and the young man appeared for their brew and the referee turned out to be a pleasant young man, with an agreeably gentle Irish lilt. Perhaps spotting the Brighouse cap, he correctly put two and two together (without needing a calculator, so he can't be that young) having occasionally come across my ramblings.

Snodland took the lead after 8 minutes, rather too easily, it seemed, but the home side drew level on 25 minutes. Snodland should have done better with a good chance, but Whyteleafe  broke and added a second goal,

Early in the second half the home number 9 was injured - very painfully judging by the groans - and though Mr O'Meara allowed play to continue briefly, he soon stopped play and cautioned the visiting number 5. It is possible to envisage a rationale which led to a restart with a dropped ball for the Snodland keeper, but it looked a little odd. Fortunately, number 9 was able to play on after treatment. Whyteleafe added a third just before the hour. On 65 minutes a home attacker was fouled just outside the area, stumbling on before going down in the box. Mr O'Meara correctly. awarded free-kick, but the Snodland keeper led a protest, ending with a trip to the sin bin for the visiting number 12. During his absence, Whyteleafe scored their fourth. Snodland hit the bar, but goals five, six (from the spot) and seven ended the match in quick succession.

Mr O'Meara had moved well, with a pleasing willingness to work wide when needed. His decisions were confidently made and his use of his whistle - strong but not protracted - found favour. He did not seem to offer a great deal of patter, or if he did it was very quiet: the only time his voice reached the stand was when he sensibly decided not to stop play unnecessarily when Mr Grimley had flagged for offside. Overall, a very good performance in a match which he controlled comfortably.

On the way back to the station, the heavens opened with a thunderstorm, strong gusts rendering umbrellas of little use and it was a very soggy JCFC that travelled back to his hotel. It is to be hoped that Mr O'Meara got a lift.

As Victoria approached, it became apparent that Her Majesty's bloomers must have been wet  as, in attempting to dry them  she had set fire to them - at least in the West.