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Author Topic: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23  (Read 21898 times)

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JCFC

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #30 on: Wed 24 Aug 2022 12:03 »
The evening meal was not a success at

Tuesday 23rd August 2022
NPL Premier Division
Liversedge   1   v   4    Morpeth Town
Jacob Graham (Manchester); Adam Watson, Taylor Metcalf.

Prices are going up everywhere and the only pie on offer (Potato and meat) was £3.50 and despite an additional 50p for peas, proved lass than palatable. Chips would have added an extra £2, so this miserable skinflint went without.

When Mr Graham's name began to appear in the appointments, it seemed possible that he might be the son of Paul Graham, but unless Paul hails from Northern Ireland, that appears unlikely. The programme did inform us, however, that he is 22 and a civil servant. (Does anybody claim to be an uncivil servant? There must be a few around.) He looked the model of the young referee - tall, but not to excess, slim, with well-groomed dark hair and a good reverse gear.

Unfortunately, he was presented with a tricky match to referee. The early stages were scruffy in the extreme, players wrestling (gently) at every challenge, with pushes and barges galore. Mr Graham awarded regular free-kicks, evenly distributed, with just a vague hint of Buggins turn as often he had a choice of simultaneous offences. On 10 minutes a Morpeth player required attention from the physio; as he left the field, a colleague sought a quick consultation and he too was sent to the touchline. Midway through the half a home player was heading for AR2 to give him a piece of his mind (which he really could not spare) but was halted by a crescendo triple "Whoa" (not to be confused with Frankie Howerd's "Woe, woe and thrice woe!") Liversedge have in goal the Odious Porter, who used to disgrace Brighouse and on one occasion he charged way out of his area, for no obvious reason, made no contact but sadly was rescued by his defenders, who cleared the danger. Just after the half hour, Mr Graham was dealing with a free-kick in the Morpeth half,when a spat started deep in Liversedge territory, with the OP naturally involved. Mr Metcalf came on, Mr Watson joined them for a chat and a couple of players received a long ticking-off. Liversedge went ahead on 35 minutes, a good finish after some nifty footwork in a crowded area. The lead did not last long: Home defenders looked to be in a position to clear a high ball on the edge of the penalty area, but the OP came and missed, leaving an attacker to head into an empty net. When he repeated the scenario four minutes later, with an identical result, JCFC's Schadenfreude knew no bounds  It had, though, been a poor half. Mr Graham must have been wishing for a clear bookable offence to try to settle things down, but only one chance came and it was not taken. It was a situation where the first player cautioned would be entitled to feel aggrieved in a "Why me?" sort of way, but at times the referee must bite that bullet.

That feeling must have been  raised in the officials' room at the break, as there were two cautions, one per side, in the first three minutes of the second half. There was another mass gathering at an injury stoppage, with a voice from the benches repeatedly shouting "Can I have a word" to which the only correct answer is "No." The low point of the evening came on 53 minutes when the OP made a brilliant save. Around the hour mark, the home crowd demanded a red card, with laughable shouts of "Last man" but only a yellow card resulted, indistinctly shown. A defensive error soon gave Morpeth their third goal, Sedge were not quite finished, but a free-kick clipping the top of the bar was as near as they were to get. The visitors' fourth came after 86 minutes, to kill the slight hopes remaining. Just before the end, Mr Graham did well to intercept a home player, this tine with a quintuple "Whoa," and a modicum of difficulty. As a result, he ended up issuing his calming words with his back to the crowd of players, but fortunately nothing amiss happened.

As stated at the start, it was not an easy game to handle and could probably have benefited from a more experienced referee - or at least one with a bit more "clout." Mr Graham will surely become a fine official in time, but that time has not quite arrived yet. He will learn from experience, no doubt, and  overall his work was acceptable and things seemed more amicable at the end than they had been at times.

Ten years ago, JCFC thought nothing of walking home after matches at the Clayborn. He certainly thinks very little of the idea now, so waited for the 22.40 bus, changing at Bankfoot, and was home by 23.50.
« Last Edit: Thu 13 Jul 2023 10:01 by JCFC »
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JCFC

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #31 on: Wed 24 Aug 2022 19:31 »
Lest I should be accused, not for the first time, of dereliction of duty, I had better make it known that I intended to go to the FA Cup replay at Albion Sports. I made it to the bus stop, the bus didn't and the next one, half an hour later, would have been too late.

Instead, I offer this snippet from today's Tipping Point. The eventual winner, who described himself as researcher in linguistics, was asked which character in the Bible performed The Dance of the 7 Veils. His answer, Jesus, created a disagreeable mental image.

PhiltheRef

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #32 on: Wed 24 Aug 2022 23:13 »
I believe that Jacob is indeed the son of Mr Paul Graham who is, in my experience a fine official and a finer individual
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Whistleblower

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #33 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 08:17 »
Lest I should be accused, not for the first time, of dereliction of duty, I had better make it known that I intended to go to the FA Cup replay at Albion Sports. I made it to the bus stop, the bus didn't and the next one, half an hour later, would have been too late.

Instead, I offer this snippet from today's Tipping Point. The eventual winner, who described himself as researcher in linguistics, was asked which character in the Bible performed The Dance of the 7 Veils. His answer, Jesus, created a disagreeable mental image.


I do not know this programme but clearly to win it requires no knowledge of either Biblical scholarship or opera. Perhaps this person was getting confused with the Vale of Tears or the Vale of Kidron.

Boris10

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #34 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 11:31 »
An Italian/German type of sausage would have been closer.
Strauss[R]turning in his grave.

Whistleblower

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #35 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 14:06 »
An Italian/German type of sausage would have been closer.
Strauss[R]turning in his grave.

Yes indeed, though sadly it was not the dancing protagonist but John the Baptist who eventually got sliced !

Richard Strauss at his raunchiest best.

Microscopist

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #36 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 14:10 »
I believe that Jacob is indeed the son of Mr Paul Graham who is, in my experience a fine official and a finer individual
My third thought proved to be correct.  My first thought was fleeting but cast my mind back a few years when my BLFG and I were responsible for providing images on the screen to enhance / distract from the minister's reflection / sermon.  During the summer he often chooses a bible character for a form of sequential exposition, this year was Jonah.  However a few years, back he chose David.  When it came to the encounter with Goliath I was struck by the number of triumphal images showing David with Goliath's severed head and chose to avoid using these.  It was the time when Daesh were carrying out similar acts. Therein is also a link to the lady of the seven veils dance.  Returning to the  David series, when it came to the encounter with Bathsheba the minister cautioned me not to be "too liberal" with the images - I found it slightly odd that I had not received such a caution over the more violent images.  The corner of the Church where we operated from was known as the "naughty corner" which perhaps explained his concerns.

Whistleblower

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #37 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 14:26 »
I believe that Jacob is indeed the son of Mr Paul Graham who is, in my experience a fine official and a finer individual
My third thought proved to be correct.  My first thought was fleeting but cast my mind back a few years when my BLFG and I were responsible for providing images on the screen to enhance / distract from the minister's reflection / sermon.  During the summer he often chooses a bible character for a form of sequential exposition, this year was Jonah.  However a few years, back he chose David.  When it came to the encounter with Goliath I was struck by the number of triumphal images showing David with Goliath's severed head and chose to avoid using these.  It was the time when Daesh were carrying out similar acts. Therein is also a link to the lady of the seven veils dance.  Returning to the  David series, when it came to the encounter with Bathsheba the minister cautioned me not to be "too liberal" with the images - I found it slightly odd that I had not received such a caution over the more violent images.  The corner of the Church where we operated from was known as the "naughty corner" which perhaps explained his concerns.


I am not sure that the Kirk is as liberal as the Scottish Episcopal Church in these matters ( though I may be wrong about that ) so goodness only knows what illustrations the Minister might have feared appearing when he spoke about David and Jonathan  2 Samuel chapter 1 verse 26

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #38 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 14:43 »
I believe that a certain amount of pedantry is tolerated in this thread, so as a sort-of researcher into a sort of linguistics perhaps I could point out that the correct answer to the quiz question should have been 'nobody', since the Biblical text merely mentions a nameless daughter performing a nameless dance.  Apparently Salome and the dance of the seven veils is an invention of Oscar Wilde's.
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Whistleblower

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #39 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 16:40 »
I believe that a certain amount of pedantry is tolerated in this thread, so as a sort-of researcher into a sort of linguistics perhaps I could point out that the correct answer to the quiz question should have been 'nobody', since the Biblical text merely mentions a nameless daughter performing a nameless dance.  Apparently Salome and the dance of the seven veils is an invention of Oscar Wilde's.


Oh yes, I, for one, always welcome pedantry though some texts of Mark's Gospel eg the New Revised Standard Version, do in fact name the young dancing woman as Herodias ( Mark chapter 6 verse 22 ). Although this may be a confusion with the name of her mother,  I don't think it's entirely accurate to describe her as nameless. The Biblical Salome is the woman whom Mark's Gospel describes as being present at the Crucifixion and bringing spices, for post mortem anointing, to the tomb. Sometimes reckoned to be a sister of Jesus' mother or the mother of the sons of James and John, her identity is not known for sure. Although I hold to the possibility of the redemption of the individual, I think it unlikely that this was the dancing daughter of Herodias.

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Microscopist

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #40 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 19:05 »
Whistleblower:
Quote
I am not sure that the Kirk is as liberal as the Scottish Episcopal Church in these matters ( though I may be wrong about that ) so goodness only knows what illustrations the Minister might have feared appearing when he spoke about David and Jonathan  2 Samuel chapter 1 verse 26

Well the text he chose ended at verse 18, so the question didn't really arise directly.  His sermon tended towards the spiritual rather than physical nature of their friendship....

The Kirk's position could well be described as confused, or perhaps more diplomatically as being a "broad church".  In effect different ministers and congregations can follow their conscience provided that they do so consistently.  Rev Scott Rennie now minister at Crown Court Church of Scotland,. London sparked considerable, often acrimonious and passionate, debate over a number of years before the Kirk reaching this slightly uneasy compromise.  The Free Church of Scotland and I think the Presbyterian Church of Ireland broke off "diplomatic relations" with the Kirk as it moved to this position.

Moving tangentially, as we do from time to time, I thought of you and Nemesis when, for perhaps the fifth time in my life, I came across the word shibboleth, whilst browsing through a City Fans' Website.  Apparently the Ukrainians are using the word ‘palianytsia’ (a type of bread) in the same manner as the tribe of Gliead.


Whistleblower

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #41 on: Thu 25 Aug 2022 19:59 »
Whistleblower:
Quote
I am not sure that the Kirk is as liberal as the Scottish Episcopal Church in these matters ( though I may be wrong about that ) so goodness only knows what illustrations the Minister might have feared appearing when he spoke about David and Jonathan  2 Samuel chapter 1 verse 26

Well the text he chose ended at verse 18, so the question didn't really arise directly.  His sermon tended towards the spiritual rather than physical nature of their friendship....

The Kirk's position could well be described as confused, or perhaps more diplomatically as being a "broad church".  In effect different ministers and congregations can follow their conscience provided that they do so consistently.  Rev Scott Rennie now minister at Crown Court Church of Scotland,. London sparked considerable, often acrimonious and passionate, debate over a number of years before the Kirk reaching this slightly uneasy compromise.  The Free Church of Scotland and I think the Presbyterian Church of Ireland broke off "diplomatic relations" with the Kirk as it moved to this position.

Moving tangentially, as we do from time to time, I thought of you and Nemesis when, for perhaps the fifth time in my life, I came across the word shibboleth, whilst browsing through a City Fans' Website.  Apparently the Ukrainians are using the word ‘palianytsia’ (a type of bread) in the same manner as the tribe of Gliead.


I think the Kirk's policy in leaving the matter to the consciences of ministers and congregations is an eminently sensible one and the Church of England could learn a lot from it. In the C of E there is an official line, on the conservative side as these things tend to be regrettably, but pretty much everyone knows that it is honoured more in the breach than the observance.

JCFC

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #42 on: Sat 27 Aug 2022 21:23 »
In this age of gender fluidity and pick your own sex (like strawberries?) it is unwise to jump to conclusions, but none of the three officials looked likely to answer to the advertised "Sophie," while a club official mentioned a change of referee. An online programme showing TBC, no teamsheets posted and no PA did not make for the best of starts to JCFC's favourite competition at

EPISODE 1
Saturday 27th August 2022
FA Vase 1st Round Qualifying
Eccleshill United   9   v   1   Willington
Natty Beard; Sandy Longfellow, Curly Youngman

And no County Badge to provide a clue. It was largely one-way traffic in the early stages and Eccleshill went  ahead through a 12th minute header.  When a home forward was pulled back as he headed for the penalty area, a yellow card might have been appropriate, but the referee opted for just a warning. Eccleshill continued to move the ball quickly and inventively and were able to exploit the space thus created, adding a second on 19 minutes, a third just after the half hour, a fourth on 37 minutes, soon followed by the best of the lot, number five including a couple of backheels.

THe first minute of the second half saw Willington clear off the line, but goal number 6 did not come until the hour, a shot going in off a defender. One trip too many brought the game's only yellow on 73 minutes, for a visiting defender. Goal number eight came on 78 minutes, with Willington finally scrambling one themselves three minutes later. Eccleshill soon added number nine, and the referee charitably blew for time dead on 90 minutes.

It was a game that required just the lightest of touches and the officials wisely did not seek to make any waves. The referee was prepared to allow a reasonable degree of physical contact and to their credit, the players were happy to accept this. A peaceful afternoon for the officials,who fulfilled their contract with little difficulty.
« Last Edit: Sat 27 Aug 2022 21:33 by JCFC »
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OwdReds

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #43 on: Mon 29 Aug 2022 19:28 »
A sunny Bank Holiday afternoon spent at:
AFC Totton v Sholing Referee: Benjamin Duffill Assistants Lee Nowacki and Thomas Farr

An afternoon only slightly spoiled by my proximity to the Sholing bench who complained about or sarcastically commented on every decision made, including Mr Duffill's failure to blow for a foul at one point where his excellent advantage allowed their team to have a shot at goal. They also encouraged their players to get in the referee's ear as much as they could. Personally, I didn't think the refereeing team had a bad afternoon and Mr Duffill continued to smile in spite of the provocation. There were only two notable errors that I could see. On 30 minutes the Totton Number 9 was penalised for a pull on the edge of the Sholing Penalty Area when I thought that was the second foul, him having been pulled back first and on 81 minutes the Sholing Number 10 was clearly pulled back by his shorts, preventing him getting a shot at goal. I think Mr Duffill was probably unsighted for the second incident although running a wider angle might have given him a better view. It was also on the wrong side for his assistant.
My only other complaint was his indistinct brandishing of his yellow card. On 45 minutes the Sholing Numbers 6 and 11 combined to stop a promising attack. He spoke to number 11 at close quarters and number 6 at rather longer range before waving his yellow card. I was unclear which, or whether possibly both of them, had been the recipient. On 57 minutes, the Sholing Number 3 (I think) was shown a yellow card for dissent. Again it wasn't very clear who the card was being shown to. On 60 minutes a Totton shot was deflected onto the crossbar and following the resulting corner Mr Duffill was surrounded by a group of Sholing players for reasons unknown. He reached for his pocket but I don't think produced anything from it. Sholing took the lead on 67 minutes following a long ball and received 3 further yellow cards before the end of the match, their number 2 for a late tackle, number 6 for dissent (which cleared up what must have happened in the first half) and the goalkeeper for time wasting. At the end of the match the Sholing management team could be heard questioning why they had won the yellow card battle 5-0. Answer: Perhaps Totton behaved better but games of football are not always won by the better behaved team.
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JCFC

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Re: Pyramid Patrol 2022/23
« Reply #44 on: Tue 30 Aug 2022 08:31 »
Unlike at Eccleshill, there was no need to invent identities for the officials at

EPISODE 2
Sunday 28th August 2022
FA Vase 1st Round Qualifying
Hallam   3   v   2   Ashton Athletic
Tyler Machin (Worksop?); Nick Botten, Cameron Hoyle.

Not only were the officials listed in the interesting programme, but the splendid PA announcer made them (with one change) the headline act when giving out the teams. As one with a liking for Arnold Bennett, JCFC would have leked the referee to be called Denry, or the more formal Edward Henry, (Google tells us that there is already at least one Denry Machin, who is a published author) but Tyler is certainly a splendidly distinctive alternative.

Things started promisingly: Mr Machin moved well, his reverse gear being employed merely for short evasive adjustments, but proving the master of the side-skip. Decisions were sharply made. Ashton, playing down the slope, took the lead on 27 minutes and could well have added a second soon afterwards but for a woeful finish. The odd minor difference of opinion between individuals began to develop and Mr Machin was not always able to deal with these without interventions from other players. On 42 minutes, one such led to a degree of difficulty in clearing away those not required, prior to a long, long lecture for the Hallam number 2 and his captain. On the whole, though, he had had a decent half and it was a surprise to see him abused by one onlooker as he left the field.

Hallam had the ball in the net early in the second half, but Mr Machin rightly blew for a foul on the keeper - leading to an ongoing ripple of disagreements between players as the keeper was treated. It was becoming apparent that stronger action was going to be required. The 52nd minute brought what the announcer referred to, presumptuously but accurately, as Hallam's first goal. The yellow card made its (possibly slightly belated?) appearance on 55 minutes, for a reckless Ashton challenge, another soon following for a pull-back, before Hallam took the lead on 65 minutes. Their third, on 74 minutes, looked to have settled things and there was little concern two minutes later when a great chance was blasted into orbit. There was a third yellow for an Ashton defender, but in added time the visitors scored a second goal. Mr Machin's commendable reaction was to rush to the goalmouth in case of a tussle for the ball, but he was not required. From the restart, Hallam headed for the corner and a more experienced referee might have taken up a much closer position - it was, after all, on "his" diagonal, but Mr Machin remained 25 yards away - and the scuffle duly developed. He did move swiftly to the spot, but as he tried to stop this, a rolling maul developed and the assistants came to observe. There was little sign of anything more than pushing and jostling before order was eventually restored. The officials conferred; The Ashton number 9 was called for a yellow card, then the Hallam number 9 and finally the Ashton number 6, all of which occupied a considerable time. After just a few seconds of play, Mr Machin blew for full time and the officials had to endure an extended barrage of complaints from the Ashton posse, continuing even as they were finally able to head up the steps to the changing rooms.

For Mr Machin it was a bit of a mixed bunch: accurate decisions and plenty to like, but perhaps leaving a feeling that his talking does not always carry sufficient weight and he could be more assertive when looking to isolate a player. A decent pass mark, but no purring from JCFC this time.

The 51 bus back down into the city took a different route,  leading to a number of bewildered visitors looking for the station, but JCFC  knew more or less which way to head and though there was almost an hour to wait for the train,Sheaf Street helped pass it agreeably enough.
« Last Edit: Thu 13 Jul 2023 10:11 by JCFC »
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