RateTheRef

The appointments people had not made things simple. The referee at Buckhurst Hill on Friday night had been seen just a few weeks ago, so the World Cup won the day. Two Vase matches were possible, the nearest with a referee seen already this season, so JCFC opted for the match where the referee had been seen six years ago and headed for

Episode 10
Saturday 2nd December 2022
FA Vase 3rd Round
Whittlesey Athletic   1   v   3   Romford
Christopher Darling; Andrew Hitchcox, Paul-Valentin Mihalache.

The train journey went well, with a change at Peterborough. Unfortunately, Whittlesea (sic) station is barely on speaking terms with the town, while the football ground maintains fairly distant relations with both. JCFC had memorised the route, but was led astray when the road he planned to take was marked cul-de-sac, thereby adding  fifteen minutes of (unnecessary) walking. The ground was eventually accessed along a muddy drive with potholes full of water. In view of the previous post, both the toilets and the television  were avoided.

Mr Darling had been seen once before, when JCFC thought he had done well, though whether the experts watching (Messrs Richardson and Coote) agreed is anyone's guess. On that occasion JCFC had bizarrely suggested that anglepoise lamp must have featured in his DNA. Though his elbows jutted at times, there were no such thoughts here: instead his running style , tentative in appearance, called to mind Auntie Elsie competing in the egg and spoon race - but it got him where he needed to be. Brownie points for the badges and long sleeves. One assistant was dark-haired, tall and imposing, the other fairer, shorter and less so, though he was kept busy with his offside flag, particularly in the second half.

The first ten minutes were end to end - with little in between, resulting in a number of stoppages for clashes of heads under high balls, before an element of football was introduced. The home subs were sent to warm up - in bibs that were the same shade as Romford's pink strip, and Mr Darling rightly intervened. On the half hour a minor off the ball tangle led to a lot of noise. Mr Darling produced his yellow card a few minutes later, shown to a visiting player. Whittlesey took the lead on 37 minutes, from a free-kick whose position caused some discussion, There was a yellow card for a member of the coaching staff as a result. Romford equalised a minute later.

Romford had much the better of the second half, taking the lead just before the hour and almost immediately having a further effort ruled out for offside. The home number 8 received a yellow card late on and Romford sealed their win with a low shot from 30 yards.

After the slight contretemps in the first half, Mr Darling had, perhaps understandably, adopted a policy of sprinting rapidly (Auntie Elsie temporarily banished) with arm outstretched and long whistle blast towards any foul. This technique ran the risk of over-dramatising things and creating extra tension - but it worked and he was able to keep a tight grip and retain control to the end.

Or maybe not, as JCFC, needing to catch the 17.29 train - and be there before the crossing gates closed - or face a two hour wait, set off in added time. The drive was squelched through with difficulty, but thereafter things improved. The direct route was found (via the marked cul-de-sac) and all went smoothly.