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A further bout of wrestling with TfL's incomprehensible ticketing arrangements made for a fraught journey to Mitcham for

Episode 4
Sunday 11th October
FA Vase 2nd Qualifying Round
Tooting Bec  2 v 2   Lydd Town
Neil Keirs (Surrey); Daryl Ann, Jack Healy - .assuming the switch to Sunday had not caused any changes.

The only Neil Keirs shown by 192 lives in Ayr, but there is a James N Keirs listed in Guildford which might or might not be relevant. JCFC had been disappointed to find an official of a somewhat earlier vintage appointed. From the heights of the stand, Mr Keirs's fair hair gave an impression of Chris Tarrant after a rough night on one of his more gruelling train journeys - but far more cheerful than that thought implies. AR1 looked seriously undernourished, having seemingly donated his share of this month's rations to AR2. Between them they provided a fine array of badges.

Mr Keirs soon won JCFC round , with a positive attitude, excellent communication and a superb "bedside manner." Lydd took the lead on 14 minutes, beating the offside line and playing the ball across for a straightforward finish. There was almost a repetition shortly afterwards, but this time the straightforward finish was looped skyward. Mr Keirs had had quiet words with a couple of players, the second after initiallyl looking for an advantage. On 39 minutes the Tooting number10's challenge turned into a thwack: no captain involved here, merely a yellow card calmly administered. In first half stoppage time a Tooting corner was headed in for the equaliser.

On the hour Lydd were intent on making a substitution while a different player was down and receiving treatment. The physio signalled that he too would have to be replaced, and he left in the far corner. Play restarted and Tooting took the lead. The rather unpleasant Lydd manager had an extended moan at AR1 that he had not been allowed to get a replacement, but as he hadn't had the wit to get his man ready just in case, the fault was entirely his own. Lydd's equaliser came after 75 minutes. The home keeper  was hurt in the process and his physio's eventual entry made Berlioz's March to the scaffold seem distinctly overpaced. On 85 minutes Tooting had a shot blocked, hit a post with the rebound and Lydd were able to break until foiled by an offside. In the course of the five added minutes, the Tooting number 7 twice got clear, but each time the Lydd keeper was able to keep the scores level.

And so to penalties.  Tooting going first scored their first three, but Lydd's  second was saved.  So too was Tooting's fourth, but with Lydd having the chance to draw level, the home keeper made a brilliant save, reaching upwards out of his dive. The fifth Tooting penalty was converted to take them through to the next round.

It had been an untroubled afternoon for Mr Keirs. Lucky? There is always an element of that, but the way he interacted calmly with players, was always on top of things and radiated a constant sense of enjoyment must surely be a much greater factor. It was the sort of performance that in France or Germany is called sovereign, JCFC using instead the adjective "serene." Comfortably the best refereeing of the season to date: if only Mr Keirs were 15 years younger! But then, he probably wouldn't be such a good referee if he were.