RateTheRef

. I shall have another chance to risk North Eastern fare at a replay on Tuesday, all being well.

The fare in question was a perfectly acceptable bacon sandwich at Ryhope for

Tuesday 4th September 2018
FA Cup Preliminary Round Replay
Sunderland RCA   2   v   3  Clitheroe
Neil Howlett ; Karl Barron, Paul Cooper?

The visiting chairman was present over an hour before the match; unfortunately her team was not, the coach eventually arriving at 19.15. This meant a delayed start - the visitors initially showing little urgency - which would endanger the chances of making it back to the hotel in the event of extra time. It was good to see the game get under way just ten minutes late.

For the third successive match JCFC was treated to an official with a forces background. Had the FA Referees Department fallen victim to a military coup? (For the benefit of our Scottish friends, a military coup is not an Aberdeen-Angus with a machine gun.) Or maybe just coincidence.

Mindful, perhaps, of the apparently tempestuous end of the first match, Mr Howlett  was quick - and correct - to show a yellow card to the home defender who comprehensively wiped out a Clitheroe attacker on 8 minutes, adding a word to a player from each side a minute later. RCA were playing down the pronounced slope and doing the bulk of the attacking in a fast-moving game, but their best  chance was pushed to safety by the keeper. There were some rugged challenges, Mr Howlett assessing them well. RCA hit the post with a fierce free-kick, then a Clitheroe shot was blocked at the other end. The Clitheroe number 4 received a yellow on 34 minutes for trying to impede a breaking attacker - a good spot, if possibly a shade harsh.The home side's pressure finally told with a goal two minutes later. There was a mystery yellow card shown to the Clitheroe bench - the guess being that the number 9 had left the field without permission prior to being substituted, but he may have compounded this by something said. An excellent, if ultimately unsuccessful, advantage attempt drew plaudits from the fans.


Mr Howlett was close to an early tangle with a player on the ground when a Clitheroe man seemed to engage in practice for Strictly and he must have decided that the footwork was an attempt to free himself. Others were less certain.Playing downhill, Clitheroe did much more attacking, equalising on 54 minutes with a superb angled drive into the top corner, that even drew applause from the beaten keeper's mum! The home number 11 was perhaps a shade unfortunate to see yelllow for a strong tackle, deemed overstrong by Mr Howlett, though not  by its recipient. Clitheroe soon had The ball in the net once more, but the goalkeeper had been fouled. There was an element of towsiness by now, the Clitheroe number 6 receiving a yellow card just after the hour, while a home player went to ground after a push - Mr Howlett  probably wisely let that one go. RCA took the lead on 68 minutes, the striker holding off a challenge to slot the ball home. Back came Clitheroe, their equaliser being a repeat of the first goal - though this time the keeper's mum did not applaud. The home side came close as both teams began to tire, but it was good work on the left that set up the Clitheroe number 7 to score the winner, removing his shirt and JCFC's fears of extra time, and receiving the statutory yellow and JCFC's gratitude. Deep into stoppage time Clitheroe were looking to keep the ball in the corner and Mr Howlett wisely took up position just feet away, though that did not stop two players from having a minor scuffle, with each receiving a flashed yellow.

Mr Howlett had drawn some unfavourable comments over his attempts to have throws taken from the right spot - players having to be told more than once - would giving a distance, rather than just  "Back!" help? That apart it had been a decent test of his ability and for JCFC he emerged with considerable credit, performing an effective balancing act in a hard-fought game. Certainly it was the best JCFC had seen from him. It had been an entertaining evening , enhanced for JCFC by the conversation of two gentlemen from Blyth seated next to him. And the bus connected perfectly with a metro train to Kingston Park. JCFC was in bed in time to switch off Today in Parliament.

With South West trains also disrupted and replacement buses on the West coast mainline, careful planning was required and so JCFC settled on

Episode1b
FA Vase 1st Round Qualifying
Melton Town   2   v   2   Ingles
Andrew Cuthbert (Army); Michael Kennard-Kettle, Reece Warner.

Given Mr Cuthbert's military background, JCFC had hoped to be able to compliment him on a smart  haircut.. As there appeared to be no hair left to cut, this avenue was closed. As a solidly built  mature chap, he nevertheless cut an imposing figure - not, one would think someone to meddle with. It came as a surprise that the role of AR1 went not to the cheerful, dark-haired young man, but to the even younger fair-haired stripling, whose amiable expression hinted at a possible deficiency in the gorm department.  This impression was reinforced when he raced back to the centre after checking his net, then to the bench and across to the other touchline to find someone to adjust the pegging. Fortunately his subsequent work gave the lie to such thoughts - and his shorts were immaculately pressed. (Anyone recall referee shorts with sown-in creases?) Mr Cuthbert delivered a very long sermon before the toss.

Melton came close after just 2 minutes, their number 9 outpacing the defence, but the keeper got sufficient of a hand to the ball to allow a colleague to clear. Mr Cuthbert was proving pretty sharp and a minor contretemps led to a lecture for the two participants and their captains.Ingles, playing down the slope, created the better chances and when AR2 flagged on 38 minutes during a goalmouth scramble, there were brief thoughts that it was for a goal, but it turned out to be for an attacking foul. On 44 minutes the home number 9 got the wrong side of the defender, held off his challenges and gave his side the lead. The award of a free-kick to Ingles a minute later saw the same player boot the ball out of the park, refuse to move when summoned and ultimately receive the game's first yellow card. On blowing the half time whistle, Mr Cuthbert immediately headed for the Melton captain for a word.

It took a great point-blank save by the Ingles keeper to prevent Melton doubling their lead early in the second half. On 63 minutes Ingles were awarded a softish-looking free-kick for climbing - it seemed to be Mr Cuthbert's pet aversion -  the Melton number 2 and his captain were assembled for a warning, the free-kick was delayed by a spot of grappling in the box, AR1 being consulted, but having nothing to add and when it was finally taken, Ingles were rightly awarded a penalty. There was a yellow for the Melton number 8 and after a further delay the penalty was successfully converted  - over 3 minutes for 5 seconds of action. The game was becoming very scrappy, with constant free-kicks.. The Ingles number 11 was next into the book on 75 minutes. Melton were now creating the better chances, one effort skimming the post, another being foiled by a double block. And so to extra time, JCFC smugly appreciating his prescience in booking his ticket on the 18.30 train, AR2 less smugly making a hasty dash for the changing-room.

It took just two minutes for Melton to take the lead once more, heading home as the keeper loudly claimed the ball. Five minutes later the roles were reversed, the Melton keeper claiming the ball but being beaten by an Ingles headed equaliser. On100 minutes an Ingles foul saw Mr Cuthbert apparently call for number 6, number 8 coming forward to receive the card. It was only a couple of minutes, however, before number 6 was added to the cautions. JCFC's allegiance, initially with the visitors, had switched, thanks to the vociferous Ingles fans, who not only recommended pork pies as a form of copulation, but  noisily chanted an alternative method of introducing them to the alimentary system.The second period of extra-time brought a warning for the Ingles 15 and his captain, a caution for their number17, but no further goals.

Vase veterans, not  having seen any indication on the FA website that  it would go to penalties, headed towards the exit. Not  so the players. There was a long delay, with much discussion, one assistant heading indoors and seeming to return with a phone, but eventually penalties it was. After the first five per side, each team had had one saved, Melton finally winning 6-5.

Mr Cuthbert initially created a good impression and the game always stayed under control. He has a very strong whistle, but perhaps tended to overuse it at times when voice control might have been better. His attempts to look for advantage were commendable, though he did miss one, but too often led to delayed free-kicks. His somewhat ponderous manner - nothing to do with speed of movement - ultimately left an impression of a rather pedestrian performance.

Well those heading for the door must've been right, as this is having to be replayed!

Though happy that the Friday night cup tie was accessible, JCFC was surprised at the choice: Step 3 hosting Step 5 would surely be one-sided and nowhere near as entertaining as the midweek replay at Ryhope. Wrong on both counts at

Friday 7th September 2018
FA Cup 1st Round Qualifying
Basford United   1   v   3   Staveley MW
Oliver Mackey (Leicestershire); Alec Simpson, Minesh Gupta.

Mr Mackey, in his very early twenties, is tall and wiry and his blond hair has a definite strawberry tinge, though nowhere near as lurid as the online photos suggest. Mr Simpson is moderately tall and has dark hair; Mr Gupta did not fulfil either of these criteria.

In the fifth minute a Staveley shot was sneaking in at the foot  of the post when the keeper turned it for a corner. This led to a second corner and a shot blocked by a defender - Mr Mackey awarding the penalty for handball and dismissing the home number 4. Television viewers will be better able to decide whether the shot was goal-bound.Staveley scored from the spot and it was game on. It was evident that Mr Mackey was a rapid mover and he needed to be, with both sides playing fast direct football and play swinging rapidly from end to end. It was Basford who created the better chances, though, and it took some heroic defending - and a post - to keep them out..A couple of times they claimed for a penalty as men went down, but there appeared to be nothing untoward. A yellow for the home number 8 was followed by a Staveley break and the Basford keeper had to make a double save. He could do nothing about a further break on 25 minutes as Staveley doubled their lead. Forthe rest of the half the Staveley keeper was a busy chap. Mr Mackey appeared to miss a clear push by an attacker in the Staveley box, but the chance thus created was fortunately not taken.The Staveley number 8 received a yellow card just before the end of an exhilarating half.

On 50 minutes Mr Simpson flagged for a late challenge, and was briefly confronted by the Basford number 9, who promptly received a warning, with the captain summoned from afar. The next yellow, however, went to the home number 6 for a trip. On the hour the Basford manager began to complain vociferously about perceived timewasting by the Staveley goalkeeper. It had not been particularly great and Mr Mackey was on his case, but the manager persisted - the warning he received wasting far more time than the keeper could have done. Basford pulled one back a minute later with an excellent shot and continued to threaten, but It was Staveley who headed home a cross on 73 minutes. Nine minutes later Basford had a free-kick; Mr Mackey had a word withthe offender then spotted some skulduggery in the box and raced to show a red card to a Basford player.There was to be one further caution - for the Basford number7 on 90 minutes.

Mr Mackey could certainly not be accused of being a homer, nor of bigger club bias. Basford were not entirely happy with his work, but for JCFC it was a good strong performance from what seemed to be a promising young official.

The walk to the tram stop was easy, the wait very short and JCFC was back in his room within half an hour. Would that things were always so!

With the campaign of Saturday strikes on Northern Rail continuing, JCFC headed South on East Midland Trains to

Saturday 8th September 2018
FA Cup 1st Round Qualifying
Anstey Nomads   2   v   1   Oadby Town
Robbie Dadley (Bedworth); Joe  Clarke, Fabio Greenwood.

A funereal atmosphere prevailed as the officials took their pre-match refreshment in a near-deserted clubhouse, but eventually a decent crowd assembled. Unfortunately the limited seating provides a badly restricted view, so in the interests of accurate reporting (why start now?) JCFC headed to the opposite side and stood throughout.

There was an unusual incident.early on: an Anstey defender took a throw which landed just a couple of yards away and proceeded to play it with his foot. He was surprised to be penalised, the Oadby player surprised that he was to take not a throw but an indirect free-kick. Oadby had been doing the attacking, but on 8 minutes Anstey went ahead in virtually their first attack.. Oadby came back,twice skimming the bar, once with a cross, once with a header.The Oadby number 5 tugged back the opponent who had beaten him and received a regulation yellow card.

Oadby made their first substitution at the break and the number14 quickly went into the book for what seemed a minimal moment of holding  If this seemed a shade harsh, things were to get worse for him a few minutes later when his attempt to clear resulted in a poor touch to an attacker who scored Anstey's second. This was not the only miskick as the Oadby number 4 contrived to smash the ball into his own face. On 69 minutes Mr Greenwood flagged for a foul by the Oadby number 2, reinforced it with a movement of his hand to his top pocket and Mr Dadley duly obliged with a yellow card. Oadby's hopes were raised with a goal from a corner on 75 minutes, but all they managed in the remaining time was a yellow for their number10, who had already been warned about jumping into opponents.

It had been a good-tempered match on the whole, overseen by a good-humoured referee. He was always on the spot, had a good reverse gear and was ahead of the game in ensuring that restarts were taken from the right spot - in a way that needed no further adjustments. The one questionable moment came on 82 minutes when a touchline tackle that had JCFC wincing was not penalised. The ball was taken, but ... Mr Dadley knows more about things than JCFC, but had to shepherd the Anstey coach off the field as the "victim" was treated. In an otherwise excellent display, Mr Dadley deserves the benefit of the doubt.

I know that my partner and I have something of an obsession with the randomness of timekeeping these days and are part of only 0.00001 per cent of people concerned about it but a few weeks ago in the National League North I watched a half of football where two minutes were added after a half where treatment of an injury took almost six minutes to treat and in which a goal was scored.

Then yesterday, during the 'minimum' of three minutes which were signalled the team in the lead were awarded a corner. Unsurprisingly they took their time sending a player over to take it and the referee tapped his watch after protests by the defending team.  Soon after the corner was cleared, the referee blew the final whistle after a total of 2 mins 40 seconds of added time. 

I know it's not the most important issue facing refereeing today but surely at the very least the minimum time indicated should be played. Anyway, rant over.

I seem to recall finding something quite palatable on a very cold evening at Dunston two seasons ago. Meanwhile no food was required at

Sunday 9th September 2018
FA Cup 1st Round Qualifying
AFC Mansfield   2   v   1   Stourport Swifts
Gareth Davis (Derby); Aidan Murphy, Reece Scott.

After the military three-step, this was the second successive match with an official used to facing two fearsome foes: a class of schoolchildren - possibly not too dangerous, given that they are not dealing with recalcitrant teenagers - and the lethal enemy of education experts demanding ever new approaches as they constantly shift the goalposts (tai chi before lessons, anyone?)

The seats at Forest Town are potentially comfortable and the view is not obstructed, but as our Nottinghamshire correspondent has mentioned in the past, rather distant. JCFC arrived in good time, seated himself at the end of a row some distance from a familiar groundhopper. Gradually, though, others of that pesky ilk joined him, creeping ever closer. Two minutes before kick-off there was just one seat  between us - at which point another one arrived asking if there was room for a little one. There was, but he wasn't, leaving JCFC rather uncomfortably crushed. Worse followed, as the hoppers proceeded to spend the match in conversation - Slovakian 3rd Division and car insurance featuring prominently as the current game was ignored. For the first half hour this was possibly justified as the play was mundane in the extreme. Not until the 33rd minute did JCFC have anything to note - a yellow card for the home number 10 for an overstrong challenge, though quite why Mr Davis had to wave away a visiting player several times before he could issue it, goodness knows. Stourport had a good shot touched past the post and went ahead on 40 minutes with a shot from outside the box.

Mansfield, the higher-ranking side, offered rather more in the second half, missing one good chance before equalising on 57 minutes, the ball being dinked over the defence for number 7 to run on and play it first time across the keeper. The home side had the upper hand now, a further shot was blocked by the excellent Stourport number 4 but Mansfield went ahead on 81 minutes. In the closing minutes the Stourport number 8 received a yellow card for pushing over an opponent stopping him from taking a free-kick and in added time a colleague was also cautioned when frustration got the better of him.

Mr Davis is a slim young man and moved well in both forward and reverse gears, coping without difficulty in a game that caused him few problems.  He appeared from a distance to have few foibles, but distance equally prevented appreciation of his particular positive qualities and contribution to the game. It seemed a good afternoon's work, nevertheless.

JCFC will not be in a hurry to visit Mansfield again, and will avoid the groundhopping community if he can. For the benefit of those interested in transport matters - don't all rush at once - the journey home went: bus to Mansfield, bus to Alfreton, train to Sheffield, walk to bus station, rail replacement coach to Wakefield Westgate, train to Leeds, train to Huddersfield, train to Brighouse. All of this went more smoothly than might have been expected and JCFC was home at 21.00.

With the cricket season still afloat, I'm afraid I can't match JCFC's prodigious output, the quality of which is more WH Smith than Woolworths!

Basford Utd 6  Matlock Town 0
Attendance 342
Referee: Robert Hathaway

A good hiding for the visitors, who hardly managed a foray into Basford's penalty area. One goal scored and eleven conceded in the last three games tells it's own story really, and one might think there may be a board meeting called before long at Causeway Lane. 

Mr Hathaway's jib wasn't much cut in the way of today's referee.  More Toby Jones than Rob Jones, more straight man than the joke cracker ( or so it seemed, as few players went away smiling 😊).

What he did do, though often from a distance, was keep the game flowing. The two Basford cautions were "stand out" deserved, and though  he favoured angle rather than proximity to an alarming degree at times,  he absolutely contributed to a free flowing game on an impressive 4G pitch.

Basford have come into the Evostik Premier from unfenced park pitch to the hub of a community inside a decade. Gates are up by a mile, and though they could do with a larger higher stand with a good viewing rake.Their impressive march up the pyramid may not have stopped yet.  And it's pronounced BasEford  not Basford!

Referee: 7/10
Match difficulty 3/10

The run of teachers was extended to four at

Tuesday 11th September 2018
Evo-Stik Division 1 West
Clitheroe   3   v   5   Atherton Collieries
Michael Crusham (Wigan); Jimmy Morgan, Bob Richards.

It was to be an entertaining evening of woeful defending. Clitheroe went ahead on 5 minutes in reasonably orthodox manner, but just two minutes later their defence was at sixes and sevens, with the keeper grovelling on the ground as Colls equalised. For the next ten minutes Clitheroe penned their opponents in their own half and when they finally managed to break free, the home number 4 was cautioned for a cynical foul. If the Clitheroe defence had been shambolic for the equaliser, Atherton managed to come up with something even worse on 19 minutes, playing their keeper into trouble on the edge of the area as they tried to play it out. He had to stretch a foot and merely presented the ball to the unmarked Clitheroe number 9, who gratefully accepted the chance. Atherton missed a decent chance midway through the half, bouncing a header into the keeper's hands. Clitheroe had a shot tipped over by the keeper 0n 44 minutes, but added a third in stoppage time, the ball being powered home by the Clitheroe number 6 - and not, as it appeared from the stand, by a defender.

Despondent Collieries supporters underestimated the porosity of the Clitheroe defence. It took just a minute for the next shambles to occur, bringing the score back to 3-2. The Atherton equaliser came on 66 minutes, their fourth on 82 and the fifth in added time when a throw was taken quickly. Clitheroe having conceded 18 goals in their last four matches, one disgruntled old supporter asked as the teams departed if there was any chance of signing a few defenders.

It had been a pleasant enough outing for Mr Crusham and his two venerable assistants. He made a positive verbal contribution - if repetition of "No hands" can be considered positive. He moved well in a bouncy manner - the bounce less marked towards the end perhaps - and had a good reverse gear. Decisive in his manner and his signals, he could be Wigan's answer to Keith Stroud and handled the game very well. So all was perfect? Well, not quite ... he favours an unshaven appearance that falls short of a proper beard. Under lights the beard element disappears, leaving merely a dark smudge under his nose. JCFC was reminded throughout of Baldrick's slug: it wasn't a good look! The (again unknown) Observer will not have allowed that to cloud his judgement, however, and will surely have been pleased with Mr Crusham's work.