Author Topic: Caledonia you're calling me  (Read 3973 times)

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Microscopist

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #45 on: Sat 08 Jun 2019 12:59 »
That's a pity, you would have seen a few goals had it not been for Scotrail.  New Cumnock - promised joy; maybe not, but with many good folk.

JCFC

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #46 on: Sun 09 Jun 2019 06:00 »
The trip went perfectly from soggy Carlisle via overcast Glasgow to sunny Irvine, where Meadow Park played host to

Saturday 8th June 2019
SJFA West of Scotland Cup Final
Kirkintilloch Rob Roy   1   v   1   Beith Juniors
Stephen Brown; James McCluskey, Josh Hay. 4thers: Matthew MacDermid.

At the ground was a young man who had successfully managed the train journey from Carlisle to New Cumnock the previous evening - by arriving there three hours before the match, not an optionI had fancied.

The programme was interesting, particularly in relation to past finals. Beith played their ace, referring among others to the 1965 final, a two-legged affair played on Monday and Friday evenings, ending with the sides level on aggregate. The decider was played the following day, Johnstone Burgh winning the toss for home advantage - and the match. This was trumped, however, by Rob Roy, whose 1963 final - notionally one-legged - had ended with the scores level. They then had to replay it at 7pm the same evening!

The opening minutes were pretty sterile as the teams made their presence felt. On the quarter hour, though, Kirky headed home a corner to take the lead. Four minutes later a Beith corner was disputed by both sides,  Kirkintilloch claiming the ball had not gone out, Beith claiming a foul. It was not long before Beith drew level, thanks to a powerful header from a hanging cross. They escaped soon afterwards, their keeper blocking, more by good luck than good management, a potential own goal. Back came Beith, hitting the post, the rebound being nicely teed up, only for the ball to be blasted over the goal, the net there to stop it, and the houses beyond. There was a hold-up, as the supply of suitable balls had been exhausted. A tackle from behind brought a yellow card for the Beith number 8, who indicated his annoyance by miming a passable imitation of a startled frog. The Rob Roy keeper did well to tip a long shot over the bar before the break.

The second half saw a caution for a Kirkintilloch defender,the low free-kick producing a double save. Play became more open as Beith in particular put together some decent moves, only to finish tamely,but no further goals were forthcoming. And so, pleasingly, straight to penalties. Rob Roy had their first and fourth saved, Beith making no mistakes to win by 4-2.

Mr Brown has been around the upper reaches of non-league referees for some time, but is still far from geriatric. He looked smart, having celebrated the appointment with a sensible haircut. He adjusted his position well, with an excellent reverse gear, varied his whistle tone appropriately and his triage appeared very sound. He seemed from the stand to be a good communicator, with the ability to see the humour in things. A good afternoon's work, well received. Mr McCluskey's slightly hunched posture during the warm-up had raised doubts, but he performed well, contributing some useful flags. Mr Hay had a quieter time, but smouldered to good effect. Mr MacDermid, it must be said, succumbed to bribery, appearing to accept a sweetie from the Rob Roy boss, with whom he developed a decent rapport. No doubt he would have handled the board splendidly ...had one been available.

So this time my plans passed off without a hitch  -  or did they? On arriving back at Irvine station, I learnt that there would be no trains for some time - the figure of three hours was suggested - because of overhead damage at Prestwick. The best plan was to head back into town and catch the bus to Kilwinning with the chance of catching a train coming from Largs. As the bus approached Kilwinning the heavens opened and the bard would have been inclined to exchange his mouse for the drookit rat I became.

So 2018-9 is finally over, but Tuesday sees the draw for the Europa League. With luck there might be a match within reach before too long.
« Last Edit: Sun 09 Jun 2019 06:10 by JCFC »

JCFC

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #47 on: Sun 23 Jun 2019 14:47 »
It is reported that Mr Brown has resigned as a referee, in consequence of tweets of an inappropriate nature made nearly a decade ago, which he now regrets. It is unfortunate that his career has ended in this way, as he had done well in the above match - which presumably was his last - but is a salutary reminder to all users of (anti)social media.
« Last Edit: Tue 25 Jun 2019 17:10 by JCFC »
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JCFC

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #48 on: Wed 24 Jul 2019 10:16 »
As promised/threatened JCFC made his way to

Tuesday 23rd July 2019
Betfred League Cup
Albion Rovers   0   v   0.  St Mirren
Barry. Cook (Renfrewshire); Kylie Cockburn, David Ingram.

Rovers spent much of last season looking likely to drop out of the league until a late rally saw Berwick Rangers suffer that fate. Perhaps fittingly the outside of the ground bore a prominent poster for suicide prevention. Cliftonhill is a comfortable walk from Coatdyke station, but there is nothing comfortable about the ground itself. Roughly 60% is out of bounds, while the stand was designed not by Archibald Leitch but it seemed by Snow White, with a view to accommodating her seven chums. JCFC is pretty Bashful, many would add Dopey - but in character rather than stature, so the lack of legroom added Grumpy to the list.

For some  years now, Mr Cook has ploughed an unremarkable journeyman furrow in the Scottish League, mirroring his unremarkable appearance: taller than expected with undistinguished features reminding JCFC, but doubtless nobody else, of a cross between Michael Barrymore and the Reverend Richard Coles. Albion were in yellow and red, St Mirren in fuchsia, with the keepers in different shades of blue. The officials therefore turned out  in green - not the attractive shade of previous times, but a vivid and rather unpleasant hue.

The match itself offered little to stir the blood - Sleepy came close to making his appearance.  The first half saw one parry by the Rovers keeper, followed immediately by a clearance off the line by a colleague, and a couple of cautions, one for each side. The second half was marginally better -eventually! Rovers clipped the crossbar with a shot on 68 minutes and a St Mirren player received a yellow card for a reckless challenge. The closing stages saw the visitors dominate. They netted from a cross, but were denied by a flag from the admirable Mrs Cockburn, while a couple of further efforts were off target. In added time an Albion player tugged back an opponent. While Mr Cook was waving his yellow card, another Rovers man went to ground and took some time to recover. When he did, he tapped the ball away a few feet and may have been cautioned too, but such is the desultory nature of Mr Cook's carding technique it was hard to tell.

It is a feature of this competition that in the group stages a third point is available in the event of a draw, so we were treated to a penalty shoot-out, in the traditional ABAB format, rather than the ABBAA seen more recently. Rovers had their second shot saved, but Mr Cook ordered a retake and showed the keeper a yellow. The retake was scored, but the third was again saved. The keeper looked to advance just as early, but the officials were hamstrung and the save stood. Each side was successful with their next effort, but St Mirren's fourth was saved - only for another yellow card and successful retake. When Rovers' fifth was deflected into the crowd we were finally able to go home.

Mr Cook did not obviously do anything wrong, but maybe because of distance from the pitch it was not clear that he was leading rather than reacting to proceedings. So yes, a journeyman display, but even journeymen have their uses.
« Last Edit: Wed 24 Jul 2019 13:32 by JCFC »

JCFC

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #49 on: Sat 11 Jan 2020 10:45 »
It was breezy and drizzling as JCFC set off for Ainslie Park, but by the time it was reached, the drizzle had turned to rain and the breeze to a gale, which led a Brighouse Town cap to make a bid for freedom across a busy junction. Fortunately it was recaptured, but somewhere along the way one German glove did escape. Two matches were on offer there, the choice being the one that offered seats, shelter, a kick-off at 20.00 rather than 20.15 and a referee who sounded like an oil-rig, in the form of

Friday 10th January 2020
Lowland/East of Scotland U20 Knockout Cup Round 2
The Spartans   4   v   0   Cumbernauld Colts
Brent Falconer (Edinburgh)

Mr Falconer, in his upper twenties perhaps, made the bizarre decision to don a green Chartreuse shirt with short sleeves. (Ellis Walls on the other pitch chose black with long sleeves - wise fellow) Conditions were difficult and accurate passing at a premium. On an artificial pitch it was almost impossible to keep the ball stationary for restarts - Mr Falconer declaring "Just be sensible, guys" and allowing a degree of latitude, which was.wise. Spartans, playing into the gale, began to emerge as the stronger side, having a decent shot deflected onto the post for a corner midway through the half, and taking the lead on 28 minutes, a good move ending with a neat finish.

The second half showed just how good the Spartans' first half performance had been. Cumbernauld were largely confined to their own half, though they did manage a dangerous break midway through the half. On72 minutes Spartans beat the keeper from outside the area to go two up.In another break a Cumbernauld attacker was one on one with the keeper, who just managed to get a foot to the ball. Cumbernauld's keeper had been taking very short sideways goal-kicks and on 82 minutes the recipient only managed to play the ball to an attacker, who promptly added the third goal. Number four followed within a minute from a long shot. A frustrated little kick on 90 minutes brought a correct yellow for the Cumbernauld number 9, though in the context of the match a ticking-off might have sufficed. The restart was played short and the final whistle was blown. If it is not a contradiction, the score did not flatter Spartans, but Cumbernauld probably deserved better.

The young gentlemen generally gave Mr Falconer little trouble and he did not look to trouble them more than necessary. He regularly looked for advantage, though it rarely happened. Operating without even club assistants, he nevertheless managed to make accurate offside and touch decisions, and on the odd occasion when there was possible doubt, decisions were accepted. Credit to all concerned - players and referee alike - in producing a watchable game, but did the spectators enjoy it? No, was the general consensus.

The cap was confined to a pocket for the walk back to the bus stop, where there was fortunately a shelter and unfortunately a 28 minute wait. On turning from Hanover Street into Princes Street, JCFC found himself doing a Marcel Marceau imitation - the legs were moving, but the body was going nowhere. The wind has howled all night, the rain continues to fall -a Plan B may be required for this afternoon.
« Last Edit: Tue 14 Jan 2020 12:13 by JCFC »

JCFC

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #50 on: Sat 11 Jan 2020 12:04 »
Plan A has already failed because of a waterlogged pitch at Thornton Hibs. Frazer Bushell is spared the distorting lens. Fortunately Plan B still looks promising.

JCFC

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #51 on: Sun 12 Jan 2020 15:46 »
Plan B started well - the pitch was reported to be looking good and the train left on time. It soon began to look more doubtful, as we were halted in a queue of trains, with mention of flooding in the tunnel at Winchburgh. The train moved forward in short stages, each time halting between high rock faces, suggesting that the surname of the former referee from Winchburgh may have been appropriate. A journey of less than twenty minutes took over fifty, but a brisk walk enabled JCFC to reach the Falkirk Stadium in time for

Saturday 11th January 2020
Scottish Lowland Football League
East Stirlingshire   1   v   2   University of Stirling
Ross Nelson (Lanarkshire?); Gary Hilland, Niamh Westwood.

The colour scheme was red, both assistants choosing long sleeves. Tall Mr Nelson did not and his skinny forearms emphasised his leanness - not much more meat on him than would be found in a fashionable vegan sausage roll. He soon made his presence felt, however, lecturing the Shire number 8 at the first sign of dissent and cautioning their number 4 on 5 minutes for a tug back on the visiting winger. A spot of backchat soon allowed the home number 11 to get to know Mr Nelson a little better. The Uni attacks failed too often through offside, accurately assessed by the admirable Miss Westwood, Shire being thwarted by brave defence, with one attack producing a series of desperate blocks.

Early in the second half Stirling had a shot rebound from the bar, but they took the lead on 63 minutes. This lasted just three minutes, a Shire shot being deflected and looping high into the goal. The keeper claimed he was impeded - he was, but the attacker is under no obligation to move out of the way and the goal correctly stood. An excellent run by a Shire player ended with a rebound off the post. Stirling were apparently happy with their point and looked to slow things down, the Shire number 11 seeing yellow for chirruping about a substitution. The Stirling winner on 82 minutes was largely self-inflicted from the Shire point of view: defenders appealed for an offside flag, Mr Hilland, a former Category 1 referee, did not oblige and as the centre back stood with hand raised, a colleague idiotically passed the ball back and a Stirling attacker was left with just the keeper to beat, which he accomplished with ease. There was time before the close for a yellow for dissent from the home number 15. At the close he headed for Mr Nelson, stopped three yards short and turned on his heel and marched away. Only one Shire player shook Mr Nelson's hand, but it is hard to see what their problem was - their own performance was simply not good enough on the day.

Mr Nelson did well enough - any referee who deals firmly with gobby players will always find favour with JCFC. His triage appeared sound and his movement good, the one reservation being that he whistled unnecessarily strongly on occasions.

So Plan B worked perfectly -or did it? Back at Grahamston station, the boards revealed that all trains for the next hour or more were cancelled. A replacement bus went up to Falkirk High, but trains from there do not stop at Edinburgh Park, so it was necessary to travel on to Haymarket and catch a train back. Never mind, the evening meal was excellent!
« Last Edit: Sun 12 Jan 2020 15:50 by JCFC »

JCFC

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #52 on: Sun 12 Jan 2020 16:10 »
In poor taste, no doubt, for which I apologise, but it tickled me today on the bus through Slateford to see the Scotmid Funeral Service housed in a building whose pediment bore the prominent legend "District Fire Service."

Microscopist

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #53 on: Sun 12 Jan 2020 21:07 »
Quote
Never mind, the evening meal was excellent!
If the apocryphal stereotype (at least here in the West) is to be believed you were lucky not to be greeted with "Ye'll have had yer tea then." (or if in Dr Browning's Parish "I expect that you will have taken tea already.").  I hasten to add that that has not been my experience of folk from Auld Reekie, who have always been most hospitable.

Whistleblower

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #54 on: Mon 13 Jan 2020 08:52 »
In poor taste, no doubt, for which I apologise, but it tickled me today on the bus through Slateford to see the Scotmid Funeral Service housed in a building whose pediment bore the prominent legend "District Fire Service."

Not poor taste at all; I always believe the best thing to do with all the funereal business of death is to laugh in its face.  I once attended a cremation service for a marvellous elderly chap who had one of the most delightful, generous and humorous dispositions I have ever known. He had arranged that at the conclusion of the service there was played on the loudspeaker system Josef Locke singing  " We'll make a bonfire of our troubles and watch them blaze away" He had also arranged for his solicitor to be at the door of the chapel greeting people on their way out and giving them an envelope in which was a 10 note and a message " Have a last drink on me, thanks for coming "  As Mr Punch would say "that's the way to do it "
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JCFC

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #55 on: Mon 13 Jan 2020 09:48 »
Quote
Never mind, the evening meal was excellent!
If the apocryphal stereotype (at least here in the West) is to be believed you were lucky not to be greeted with "Ye'll have had yer tea then." (or if in Dr Browning's Parish "I expect that you will have taken tea already.").  I hasten to add that that has not been my experience of folk from Auld Reekie, who have always been most hospitable.

I had always thought that "You'll have had your tea'" was an invention of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. I confess to having to look up Dr Browning, and Google sent me to Hollyoaks. The refined phraseology, however, suggested Morningside (where I was once treated to a good evening meal)and so I found him!

During the war Mum transferred to Edinburgh and was invited to stay with a work colleague's family. As a boy, we often used to visit Mrs Dunn in Earl Haig Gardens, staying overnight on occasions and I can only agree about the hospitality of Edinburgh folk. Incidentally, on a recent trip to the capital I tested my memory by seeing if I could find my way there - without the guidance of the tram we used to catch - and completed the mission successfully some six and a half decades on.

The plan for today had involved  a trip to Airdrie for a reserve league game - but with Storm Brendan arriving, the idea of gales and rain on Drumgelloch station at 10pm does not appeal to this softie. Only Connect and University Challenge it shall be.
« Last Edit: Mon 13 Jan 2020 09:56 by JCFC »

Whistleblower

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #56 on: Mon 13 Jan 2020 13:24 »
Quote
Never mind, the evening meal was excellent!
If the apocryphal stereotype (at least here in the West) is to be believed you were lucky not to be greeted with "Ye'll have had yer tea then." (or if in Dr Browning's Parish "I expect that you will have taken tea already.").  I hasten to add that that has not been my experience of folk from Auld Reekie, who have always been most hospitable.

I had always thought that "You'll have had your tea'" was an invention of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. I confess to having to look up Dr Browning, and Google sent me to Hollyoaks. The refined phraseology, however, suggested Morningside (where I was once treated to a good evening meal)and so I found him!

During the war Mum transferred to Edinburgh and was invited to stay with a work colleague's family. As a boy, we often used to visit Mrs Dunn in Earl Haig Gardens, staying overnight on occasions and I can only agree about the hospitality of Edinburgh folk. Incidentally, on a recent trip to the capital I tested my memory by seeing if I could find my way there - without the guidance of the tram we used to catch - and completed the mission successfully some six and a half decades on.

The plan for today had involved  a trip to Airdrie for a reserve league game - but with Storm Brendan arriving, the idea of gales and rain on Drumgelloch station at 10pm does not appeal to this softie. Only Connect and University Challenge it shall be.

Very wise to stay in JCFC. I too shall be watching Only Connect, a programme which I find compelling but makes feel a complete numbskull and University Challenge which also leaves me feeling intellectually wanting.

I too have fond memories of Morningside. Years and years ago we were once in a rather smart Hotel, the North British I think it was called in those days near Waverley Station ( I am going back nearly forty years here ) taking afternoon tea and at the next table were two mature Scottish ladies also taking tea and speaking to one another in impeccable Morningside accents. At one point I heard one of the ladies say, proffering a plate to her friend, "may I press you to another tea cake Morag"....and it is that employed verb "press" which is just so pure Morningside for me.  Being juvenile in humour, we spent the rest of the afternoon trying to mimic a perfect Morningside brogue, without success I think.

Whistleblower

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #57 on: Mon 13 Jan 2020 13:40 »
...our efforts sounding far more like Janet ( Barbara Mullen ) from Dr Finlay's Casebook, which is an entirely different accent to Morningside.

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #58 on: Mon 13 Jan 2020 16:00 »
On the subject of laughing at death, I shall be attending the funeral of an elderly relative on Thursday. She had taken out a funeral plan which the family subsequently decided to change after her death because they wanted additional things. There has been a delay to the funeral because under selling regulations there had to be a 14 day cooling off period.
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Microscopist

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Re: Caledonia you're calling me
« Reply #59 on: Mon 13 Jan 2020 23:14 »
Quote
I too shall be watching Only Connect, a programme which I find compelling
I thought of Whistleblower when "shibboleth" came up in the missing vowels round.  Having not come across the word for several years I have now encountered it four times in 2020 - perhaps it will become the word of the year?

I look forward to reading JCFC's report on both games